Eli off home in shock elimination
Only two weeks into DWTS and already we’re emotionally exhausted
It’s elimination night and after the bloodshed that was week one’s elimination, I and the New Zealand public were on the edge of our seats, waiting to see who would be sent home in episode four of our local Dancing With the Stars.
Surely not Eli Matthewson (with two Ts) the loveable comedian and one half of the nation’s first same-sex DWTS duo? It couldn’t possibly be Rhys Mathewson (with only one T) after all those sexy moves?
Don’t even try to pretend we will be seeing the back of Kerre Woodham after a perfect paso complete with fancy floor spins. And there’s simply no way it could be Alex Vaz, he’s so
. . . tall.
So who could it possibly be? Well, sit tight, because last night’s elimination was arguably the biggest shock in DWTS history.
The night kicked off with literal deja vu — did we not see this little circus number last night?
Our beautiful host Sharyn Casey was giving cosmic Princess Leia and Clinton Randell was giving first school ball. It clashed more than David Seymour and twerking.
Loveable legend David Letele was up first last night with dance partner Kristie Williams. He, like Vaz, is very tall, but he talks about it far less. A beautiful man, a beautiful spirit and a beautiful performance last night. The judges weren’t so keen and called it “nice” as if Letele were a Tinder date they’d absolutely not be seeing again.
After an introduction with a scroll, Jazz Thornton and Brad Coleman were up with a quickstep that came with plenty, and I mean plenty, of facials from Thornton. The judges gave her a standing ovation. Lance Savalli called the dance “amazing” and James Luck backed up the sentiments, calling it “perfection”.
So at the end of week two’s individual performances, Thornton topped the leaderboard and bagged the first perfect 10 of the season. The vibe was Bridgerton and Thornton has just been named the season’s Diamond.
The team dances were up next with a samba from Team Fire — and who didn’t want to be on this team by the end of the performance? Woodham, Matthewson, Kane and Letele screamed “we hit the pub after dance class” and it was everything we wanted and more.
Team Ice were up next and they was perfectly lovely, but something was missing and I think it was . . . fire? There were so many lifts I began to wonder if I was at SkyCity. But the judges gave them a higher score and so we obviously do not invite them to the pub.
Then came the moment — this week we were treated to actually being told when voting was closing — where one of our stars was sent packing.
The bottom two were Alex Vaz and Brittany Coleman and the real shocker, Eli Matthewson and Jonny Williams. I was already typing up Vaz’s name and writing his obituary when Matthewson and Williams were eliminated in a moment so shocking that one of Sharyn Casey’s space buns actually took off to space.
Where are the judges’ saves from past seasons? Where is the voting common sense? If I wanted to see subpar moves by people with a semiimpressive following, I would download TikTok.
For two weeks running the best dancers in the competition have been sent home. But this week’s eliminated pair deserved to take home the Mirror Ball trophy and so much more.
They shattered glass ceilings, teaching young LGBTQI+ Kiwis that there is a place for them on any stage in the world. They made Dancing with the Stars history and they did so with style, pride and a hell of a lot of laughter.
Already this season has left the New Zealand public emotionally exhausted and we are only two weeks in. Someone call Team Fire, we’re off to the pub.