My nurse’s kisses in A&E
As usual my summer has resulted in a trip to the accident and emergency department. I have come to the conclusion I am somewhat of a plonker when it comes to injuring myself.
Take 2016 for example. I slipped on the golf course and ended up on crutches; 2017, I got run over; this summer, whacked my head and got concussion.
So that’s where I was one day not long ago. Waiting for a scan which would eventually confirm there was nothing wrong inside my skull other than perhaps the fact I should use my brain a bit more and not get myself knocked about so much.
Unfortunately it took the better part of seven hours sitting in A&E to get that diagnosis.
It was somewhat embarrassing sitting there with double vision while people in far greater stress than I came in and, quite rightly, were seen first. It has to be said the staff did a great job in difficult circumstances. Anyway.
So I’m sitting in A&E and as luck would have it Mrs P, who is a nurse, is working her shift in another department.
Obviously when she has a break she comes over to see me.
I’d been there maybe an hour or so when Mrs P, resplendent in her uniform, comes in to the waiting room. Naturally she is concerned her simmering hotplate of a husband has been injured and is waiting to be seen.
She brings me a coffee and sits for a quick sympathetic chat before she has to return to her duties.
She gives me a kiss on the cheek as she departs.
Through the difficulties of my vision I can make out some confused glances from my fellow waiting-room occupants. They get even more confused a couple of hours later when Mrs P returns to check on me again. This time she’s brought me a coffee and a sandwich. She sits next to me, holds my hand. Feels my forehead and asks how I feel. Just like a nurse would do.
Again, as she leaves, she gives me a little kiss on the cheek.
This time I feel I should explain, particularly to the big guy who has been sitting opposite all morning playing on his phone but who now has a ‘what the . . . ?” look on his face.
I can’t resist it. I’ve been getting a bit bored so as a bit of a laugh I say: “I paid for the Platinum service”.
He nods and goes back to his phone.
Later in the afternoon I’ve been through for the scan, got the all clear and now I’m back in the waiting room as some paperwork is being readied for my departure.
Mrs P returns just before she’s due to end her shift and go home.
She listens as I tell her all is well. The double vision is settling down and I do, in fact, still have a brain inside my head. Naturally she is delighted and on her departure to get the car celebrates the good news with a hug and a proper lipsmacker of a kiss. Still seated opposite. the big man has worked out there’s some sort of connection between Mrs P and I.
He ventures with a grin: “How much for the Platinum service?” 1 Who wrote The Strange Case of Dr
Jekyll and Mr Hyde?
2 Which fabric is most closely associated with athletes, superheroes and glam rockbands?
3 How many stars are on the New
Zealand flag?
4 After a successful libel action questioning his sexuality against a British newspaper, which entertainer famously said “he cried all the way to the bank”?
5 Which capital city is served by Waverley and Haymarket railway stations? Q: Why did Roger go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date! 1820: King George III died at Windsor Castle at age 81; he was succeeded by his son, who became King George IV.
1845: Edgar Allan Poe's famous narrative poem The Raven ("Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary...") was first published in the New York Evening Mirror.
1856: Britain's Queen Victoria introduced the Victoria Cross to reward military acts of valor during the Crimean War.
1998: A bomb rocked an abortion clinic in Birmingham, Alabama, killing security guard Robert Sanderson and critically injuring nurse Emily Lyons. (The bomber, Eric Rudolph, was captured in May 2003 and is serving a life sentence.) 2002: In his first State of the Union address, President George W. Bush said terrorists were still threatening America — and he warned of "an axis of evil" consisting of North Korea, Iran and Iraq.
● Feminist author Germaine Greer is 80.
● Actor Tom Selleck is 74.
● Talk show host Oprah Winfrey is
65.
● Olympic gold-medal diver Greg Louganis is 59.
● Actor-director Edward Burns is 51.
● Pop-rock singer Adam Lambert (TV: is 37.
Through the difficulties of my vision I can make out some confused glances from my fellow waiting-room occupants.
1 Robert Louis Stevenson; 2 Spandex; 3 Four; 4 Liberace; 5 Edinburgh The Northern Advocate is subject to the New Zealand Media Council. Complaints to be first directed to editor@ northernadvocate.co.nz. If unsatisfied, the complaint may be referred to the Media Council, PO Box 10-879, The Terrace, Wellington 6143, or info@mediacouncil.org.nz. More details and an online complaints form available at www.mediacouncil.org.nz