Woman shocked 20 times to ‘cure’ her
Joan Bellingham was drugged and received more than 200 electroconvulsive shocks — all meant to “cure” her of being gay.
Many of her friends have been through similarly-traumatic “therapies” and a handful subsequently took their own lives.
“The guilt you are made to feel is horrific. It leaves you feeling lonely, empty, worthless.”
Bellingham, 68, is welcoming news this week the Government will ban so-called gay conversion therapy within a year, with legislation drafted mid this year.
Following years of advocacy, by groups such as Ending Conversion Therapy, Labour had campaigned on a ban ahead of the general election but then went silent.
Activist groups reignited the issue, and Green MP and rainbow issues spokeswoman Elizabeth Kerekere launched a petition last week. In days it had amassed 157,764 signatures and was presented to Parliament shortly after the ban timeline was announced.
“To see all forms of this banned would just mean the world to me,” Bellingham said.
“If there was one last thing I could do in my life it would be to make young ones today do not go through what I went through.”
Conversion therapy is a Western practice based on a belief that people with diverse sexual orientations or gender identities are abnormal and should be changed so they fit within heteronormative standards.
It can take place in health clinics, but mainly involves faithbased groups providing counselling, prayer and group support activities.
Waikato University senior lecturer in psychology Dr Jaimie Veale said there was no conclusive data about how many people had been through so-called gay conversion therapy in New Zealand, although there was plenty of anecdotal evidence.
A survey of trans people, “Counting Ourselves”, of which Veale was principal investigator, found 17 per cent of respondents (one in six) experienced a health professional trying to stop them from being trans or non-binary.
In Australia, a 2018 study found 10 per cent of Australians who were attracted to people of the same sex or were gender diverse were vulnerable to conversion therapy practices.
“So we know these practices are occurring, but by their very secretive nature we don’t know how widespread it is, and there has been little resources put towards finding out,” Veale said. “But we know it is all based on this idea that it is a mental disorder, a pathologising view, and that these are really very harmful practices.”
Up until 1973 “homosexuality” was listed as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), and was “treated” by health professionals.
Worldwide, as with Bellingham, ECT was used along with drugs, chemicals and a range of different therapies to seek to “correct” peoples’ sexualities.
But these “treatments” — or “tortures”, as many call the practices — did not work, of course, because there was no scientific or medical credence to them.
“I have been gay for as long as I can remember,” Bellingham said. “I never thought of it as something I needed to hide.”
The 1970s was a very different time however, and when Bellingham was a trainee nurse at Burwood Hospital in Christchurch in 1970, aged 18, she was picked on for her sexuality.
The torments led to concerns about her mental health and she was soon admitted to Princess Margaret Hospital’s psychiatric ward.
Over the next 12 years she was in and out of hospital and received ECT more than 200 times, along with intense questioning about her sexuality. “They would give me muscle relaxant to paralyse me. It felt like razor blades going through my body.”
Despite her horrific treatment, Bellingham retained her identity, and went on to have “wonderful relationships”. She has been with her partner, Marg, for 25 years.
“Fortunately it never took away my sense of identity, but it did take away my profession, my memory, and I had very low self-esteem for a long time.
Bellingham supported a ban, but also wanted to see a formal inquiry to truly realise the extent of conversion therapy in Aotearoa to recognise the harm done.
Jonathan Taumateine is set for a baptism by fire as he begins a new halfback era for the Hurricanes in a heavyweight Super Rugby Aotearoa battle.
Taumateine will wear the number nine jersey in tonight’s match against the Blues at Sky Stadium in Wellington — his first start for the Wellington-based franchise.
He takes the spot vacated by TJ
Perenara, who is in Japan for a short stay with the NTT Red Hurricanes in the Top League. With expected incumbent Jamie
Booth injured with a broken leg, it allows Taumateine to stake his claim as Perenara’s successor.
The 24-year-old can’t help but feel a bit nervous.
“There’s always going to be a bit of pressure. I guess I’m just humbled and happy to be out there in that nine jersey,” Taumateine says.
■ Hurricanes v Blues — Tonight, 7.05pm, Sky Stadium
Hurricanes: Jordie Barrett, Wes Goosen, Billy Proctor, Ngani Laumape, Julian Savea, Jackson
Garden-Bachop, Jonathan Taumateine, Devan Flanders, Ardie Savea (c), Vaea Fifita, Scott Scrafton, James Blackwell, Tyrel Lomax, Asafo Aumua, Fraser Armstrong
Reserves: Ricky Riccitelli, Xavier Numia, Alex Fidow, Reed Prinsep, Du’Plessis Kirifi, Luke Campbell, Peter Umaga-Jensen, Salesi Rayasi.
■ Blues: Stephen Perofeta, Mark Telea, Rieko Ioane, Harry Plummer, Caleb Clarke, Otere Black, Sam Nock, Hoskins Sotutu, Dalton Papalii, Akira Ioane, Gerard Cowley-Tuioti, Patrick Tuipulotu (c), Nepo Laulala, Kurt Eklund, James Lay Reserves: Luteru Tolai, Karl Tu’inukuafe, Ofa Tuungafasi, Josh Goodhue, Tom Robinson, Adrian Choat, Jonathan Ruru, Tanielu Tele’a.