Juggling work with home school
Bubble bliss turned to bubble bedlam last week writes Northern Advocate reporter Jodi Bryant who finds out how other families are coping juggling work and schooling.
Ilove lockdown, dare I say it, but last year I only worked minimally and it would be fair to label it “bubble bliss”. My mind conjures up sepiatoned recollections of warm, autumn days, an unblemished backdrop while playing basketball with the kids, perfecting my handstand, tuning into Jimmy Barnes’ online daily family singalong, relearning the piano, extended PJ attire and family strolls.
Fast-forward to 2021’s version and I haven’t done any of those things. While grateful to have a job, Zoom calls entail getting dressed — well up top anyway, and deadlines leave little time for anything else.
My week began sourcing kids’ laptops so they could begin their home learning; One child didn’t have one, the other had left his in the classroom and the third’s ‘a’ key was stuck and, with her password involving the letter ‘a’, rendered her locked out. Therefore, they were all lined up wanting to use my laptop, which I needed for work.
Later that day we learned the AIMS Games, which the twins were involved in, had been cancelled. They comprised two of the 11,000-plus disappointed children around the nation who had been training hard for this Taurangabased event.
While items were being crossed off the diary — exams, high school enrolment interviews, cross country, appointments — the emails kept flooding in. Is it just me or has everyone been absolutely bombed with admin the last week?
The communication has been fantastic from six high school subject teachers, office staff and principal, plus teachers, office staff and the principal at the twins’ school, as well as various other businesses and government alerts, but I have to admit I’ve felt overwhelmed and snowed under by it all.
Then there’s the anxiety many have been facing over getting their families vaccinated, along with the work deadlines constantly nagging in the background — all under a full moon, which could possibly explain why the children at times were driving me round the bend!
As I suspected, I wasn’t alone in this (we were all under that same moon after all). Whanga¯rei mum of three Lana Jennings also described her week as “bubble bedlam”.
“It’s probably down to my own internal pressures I put on myself to make sure the kids are learning, rather than external pressure,” she admitted. “And the fact they don’t stop fighting!
“There is only so much mediation I can do before I go hunt up a basket of washing to hang out. My pleas for kindness and respect of each other seem to often fall on deaf ears . . . which is the main kind
of ears around here . . . Plus my son appears to have killed my work laptop that I was letting him use.”
Psychiatrist Susanna EveryPalmer said: “Many of the current stressors are the same as previously but with the added burdens of pandemic fatigue and uncertainty around the new risks associated with the Delta variant.
“Uncertainty activates the autonomic nervous system’s fight-orflight response. If we could test the wastewater for cortisol — a stress hormone — we would almost certainly be seeing high levels alongside the Covid-19 viral RNA.”
But while many of us have been having our moments, some families, where both parents are working from home, have adopted teamwork to get through.
Kerikeri’s Rachel Smith said her family have been juggling a hybrid of bubble bedlam and bubble bliss, which seemed to be working out for them. The Far North District councillor works fulltime while her husband is currently working parttime at home. They have three children aged 17, 12 and 11.
“[The kids] are charging on with their schoolwork but we are incredibly grateful for the approach that Kerikeri High School has taken to support their students this lockdown and have found that the schoolwork is just the right amount to be a novelty for our kids, keep them engaged, but give them plenty of opportunity to do the things they need to do, to get them through lockdown.”
A typical day entails the kids each having a Zoom meeting and schoolwork before drawing, baking and playing Minecraft with friends.
Rachel’s day involved attending a number of virtual meetings and community engagement before spending creative time with the kids in the afternoons.
“My hubby [Dean] will be predominantly supporting the kids in their schoolwork today, and then might get out into the garden before doing a bit of work this afternoon once I have finished mine.
“So, it may be chaos, but it’s a happy chaos, and we really appreciate the time to be connecting as a wha¯nau, and keeping our community safe.”
Tutukaka’s Beth Churcher also said her bubble is a mix of bedlam and bliss. She and husband Mike have three children aged 7, 5 and 3.
However, with Mike an essential worker as a refinery operator, Beth has been flying solo by day while running the couple’s gin distillery.
“We own Papaka Rd Distillery based on Tutukaka Coast. Luckily the distillery is here at our property . . . so the gin can flow, and, luckily for me, locals are dropping fresh citrus on my front porch for the fresh citrus.
“It’s a bit of a juggling act; schooling, walks, making meals, and still running the distillery, bottling and labelling bottles, making crazy social media videos, doing local deliveries and sending gin around the region, but all in all, we are loving the time together.”
Whanga¯rei counsellor Megan Blundell said it is just not possible in times of uncertainty that vastly impact our everyday routines to remain in a “normal” routine.
She suggested lowering expectations: “Work demands, children’s schoolwork, postponements, disappointments, etc, can be never-ending so we need to let go of doing and being everything to everyone.
“There are many great life skills our children/youth can learn through seeing how we as parents/ caregivers respond and cope through challenging times. Let these things be their learning.”
Clinical psychologist Dr Pikihuia Pomare said everyone’s experience of lockdown is different.
“Some will experience a mix of emotions including stress, anxiety, worry, frustration, irritability, anger, disappointment, grief, and sadness. These are all normal responses to situations beyond our control. With additional demands placed on us and our wha¯nau, it’s likely we will be feeling stretched, physically, and emotionally.
“Right now, our nervous systems are on-guard with the threat of the virus in the community. We might feel ‘wound up’.”
He suggests Mauritau practices (practices to settle the mauri/ essence) to calm emotional distress and quieten busy minds which can be carried out as a wha¯nau or alone.
These include the 5-4-3-2-1 technique for grounding emotions:
5. Look: Look around for five things that you can see.
4. Feel: Pay attention to your body and think of four things that you can feel.
3. Listen: Listen for three things you can hear.
2. Smell: Name two things you can smell.
1. Taste: Name one thing you can taste.