ON THE SAME PAGE Stag do preparations get everyone’s antlers in knot
any advice on how to behave at a stag do.
She is referring to my own nuptials many years ago when the traditional ball and chain was applied to my ankle as the lads and I set about drinking at a bar. As you do.
The events of the next 24 hours are somewhat hazy but I can tell you, I did make it to the church on time - even though I took a train, a quad bike and a bus to get there.
Well, actually, when I say get there, I mean get back to the town where I started from.
You see, my mates applied the ball and chain with the same vigour with which they applied all manner of alcohol to my drinks for the next few hours and then they threw me in a train wagon which disappeared off up into the mountains between the West Coast and Christchurch.
Thankfully, I awoke and managed to get off at a stop which wouldn’t have even qualified as a one-horse town, still with the ball and chain attached to my leg.
Miraculously, a farmer of the high country variety came past on his quad bike and gave me a ride from the rail track in the back of beyond to the main road where I managed to get the bus home.
So that’s my stag do story.
I’m sure many of you have seen the odd inebriated bridegroom dressed in female clothing being led around town by his mates. And there may even be those among you who have taken part in the old tradition of “nuggetting”.
For the uninitiated among you, this involves numerous attendees at the stag do applying black boot polish – or nugget - to a sensitive area of the bridegroom. I’ll leave the rest of the explanation to your imagination.
As far as I’m aware, all of the bridegrooms have made it to their weddings on time. But Mrs P is making noises about having a word with the organiser of her little boy’s stag do.
I am personally not sure she should do that.
After all, No.1 Son is in his mid30s now and the days of student living in Dunedin, with all its behavioural eccentricities, are well and truly behind him and his mates now. Aren’t they?
My beloved is of the opinion that when one or two of them get together - and there were seven of them in one particular flat one year - they tend to regress and relive those days which, from what I recall, were one hilarious occasion after another. Obviously, she sees it a little differently.
Regardless, I’m going to have a chat with her to see if I can stop her issuing a warning and embarrassing the boy/man. I’m pretty sure they are all grown up now and there won’t be anything stupid happening.
Besides, there will be some older, cooler heads like me around to make sure things don’t get out of hand.
But before I do that, I’m going to have to go and re-hide the crash helmet I got out just in case anyone fancies a game of golf and a swim in Taupō.
Clark Kent, aka Superman, worked as a journalist at which newspaper?
In 1923 siblings Harry, Albert, Jack and Sam founded what film company?
In the Latin saying “veni, vidi, vici”, what does “vidi” mean?
How are the eggs prepared for Eggs Benedict?
What year was Trade Me, NZ’s largest online auction and classifieds website launched?
6 Who did Joseph Parker beat in his most recent fight, where he won the interim WBO world title?
7 Which actor directed the 2005
movie Good Night and Good Luck? 8 7 foot 3 (2.2m) NBA rookie Victor
Wembanyama plays for which team? 9 How many movies in the Paranormal Activity franchise have been released?
Which US country singer is an American Idol judge alongside Lionel Richie and Katy Perry? 1892 The NZ Rugby Football Union is founded in Wellington
1912 Harriet Quimby becomes the first female pilot to fly across the English Channel.
An estimated 7000 die when a Soviet submarine in the Baltic Sea sinks a German ship transporting refugees and wounded soldiers.
Martin Luther King Jr writes his Letter from Birmingham Jail in which the civil-rights leader responds to clergymen criticising him for leading street protests.
Apollo 16 blasts off on a voyage to the Moon.
Waikato farmer Arthur Allan Thomas is found guilty, for the second time, of the 1970 murder of his Pukekawa neighbours Harvey and Jeanette Crewe.
Britain’s Prince Andrew and his wife Sarah, the Duchess of York, announce they are divorcing.
A college senior kills 32 people on the campus of Virginia Tech before taking his own life.
A trial begins in Norway for Anders Breivik, charged with killing 77 people in a bomb and gun rampage.
The New York Times and The New Yorker win the Pulitzer Prize for breaking the Harvey Weinstein scandal with reporting that galvanises the #MeToo movement.
Jon Ryan Schaffer, a member of the Oath Keepers, becomes the first defendant to plead guilty to charges linked to the January 6 insurrection at the US Capitol.
● Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II is 84
● Rock singer (Midnight Oil) and former politician Peter Garrett is 71
● Singer Jimmy Osmond is 61
●
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1. Daily Planet 2. Warner Bros 3. I saw
4. Poached 1999 Zhilei Zhang
7. George Clooney San Antonio Spurs Seven Luke Bryan.
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