Love is the antidote

It’s been a challenging week.

An unthinkable act of violence has ‘broken the Kiwi dream’. Our innate sense of security, of safety, shattered by gunfire and death. That such an act could occur on NZ soil has shocked not just us, but the rest of the world. It feels like we have lost our innocence. The Rainbow Warrior, though a virtual act of war from a ‘friendly’ nation, was from ‘out there’. This had come from within. “Nowhere is safe” is a thought we’re not used to.

But the overwhelming amount of kindness, empathy and generosity being shown to our Muslim communities, I feel, has turned the tables.

From the Prime Minister to school children, we are collectively displaying that we will not let hate and fear rule our lives. Instead, we choose kindness, inclusiveness and active compassion. Love is the antidote to fear. Always.

Nowhere was this better displayed than by than by Farid Ahmed who forgave his wife’s murderer. Asked “how do you feel about the person who killed your wife?” he replied “I love that person because he is a human, a brother of mine”. I hope those words echo around the world too because it needs to hear it.

Extremists have always existed. But alone, with without support and encouragement, they would normally just fizzle out. Today, with social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter, it’s not hard to ‘find the tribe’ that will validate extremism and justify violence and hate. The reach, magnitude and repetition of divisive, identity-based narratives can, if unchecked, lead many others down paths of destructive delusion. Stopping this is not just the job of the regulators, it is our responsibility too! Whether online or in personal situations we should challenge those that wish to hurt, to divide or to punish others for being different. If we don’t speak (type) up then who will? By not challenging destructive narratives we are validating them by default.

Engagement doesn’t need to be about judgement and blame. Asking, trying to understand the unmet needs that are masked below these cries of anguish, is a far more difficult task than simply ‘returning the hate’. Online, where there is not personal contact, things seem to flare-up easily. But by being genuinely curious, the real drivers behind the hate can lead to constructive conversations. When people realise you do really care they are much more likely to open up. If Farid Ahmed can say “But maybe he was hurt, maybe something happened to him in his life?” when trying to understand the killer’s motivation, we can surely pause a minute before we hit the send button, and make sure our message is delivered with grace and kindness.

Humanity is facing massive global challenges. From climate change to species’ extinction, things are going down the plughole. We have amazing tools for communication that could be used for positive and creative solutions.

"From the Prime Minister to school children, we are collectively displaying that we will not let hate and fear rule our lives. Instead, we choose kindness, inclusiveness and active compassion. "