Hate will not rule us
An unimaginable act of terror has rocked the Kiwi Dream off its central foundation. Our innate sense of security and safety has been shattered by gunfire and death. Massacre. It’s so hard to read that word and think about our country at the same time. That such an act could occur on New Zealand soil has shocked not just us, but the rest of the world. It feels like we have lost our innocence.
The Rainbow Warrior bombing, though a virtual act of war from a ‘friendly’ nation, was from ‘out there’. This attack came from within. “Nowhere is safe” is a thought we’re not used to. It’s foreign, alien to the Kiwi psyche.
But the overwhelming kindness, empathy and generosity being shown to our Muslim communities has more than turned the tables. From the Prime Minister to school children, we are collectively displaying that we will not let fear and hate rule our lives. Instead we chose kindness, inclusiveness, and active compassion. Love is the antidote to fear. Always.
Nowhere was this better displayed than by Farid Ahmed, who forgave his wife’s murderer. Asked how he felt about the person who killed his wife, he replied, “I love that person because he is a human, a brother of mine.”
I hope those words echo around the world too, because the world needs to hear them. I hope that many are given heart.
Extremists have always existed. But alone, without support and encouragement, they would normally just fizzle out. Today, with social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter, it’s not hard to ‘find the tribe’ that will validate extremism and justify violence and hate. The reach, magnitude and repetition of divisive, identity-based narratives leads to destructive delusion.
Stopping this is not just the job of the regulators. It is our collective responsibility. Whether online or in personal situations, we should challenge those that wish to hurt, to divide or to punish others for being different. If we don’t then who will? By not challenging destructive narratives we are validating them by default.
Engagement doesn’t need to be about judgment and blame. We need to understand the unmet needs that are masked below these cries of anguish. This is far more difficult than simply ‘returning the hate’. Online there is no personal contact. Disconnection can lead to destructive behaviour. But by being curious we can understand the drivers behind the hate. This leads us to constructive conversations. When people realise you do really care they are much more likely to positively engage.
Farid Ahmed, when facing unfathomable grief, said, “But maybe he was hurt, maybe something happened to him in his life.”
He was trying to understand the killer’s motivation. This is the type of language that Jesus would use. If love is the message then ‘which religion?’ does not matter. That Farid can communicate with this much grace and kindness is a lesson for all of us.
■ mikef@nrc.govt.nz
"Whether online or in personal situations, we should challenge those that wish to hurt, to divide or to punish others for being different. "