Harsh words can hurt

Whiria te Muka is a police-Te Hiku iwi initiative aimed at reducing and preventing wha¯nau harm, while uplifting mana tangata for the people of Te Hiku o Te Hika. Off the back of last week’s Pink Shirt Day at Kaitaia College, we asked one student about bullying. And more importantly, what makes for healthy relationships in Te Hiku.

I’m a 16-year-old Kaitaia College student who goes to school every day, just like most other kids. When kids get bullied they don’t want to come to school, which is fair enough. I mean, who would want to go to school to get called names?

But what is bullying? Bullying is repeated aggressive behaviour that can be physical, verbal or relational, both in person or online. Bullies are often relentless, bullying over and over again for long periods of time. You, as a victim, may live in constant fear of where and when the bully will strike next, what they’ll do, and how far they’ll go.

People may think a few words won’t hurt, but what happens if the victim takes the wrong idea and starts to believe it? Those words can do the same damage as a bullet piercing straight into somebody’s heart.

Bullying prevention approaches may look different in each school, since they need to align with the values, goals and priorities of each school and their community. But, in the end, they all need to achieve the same thing — students attending schools that have positive environments to support them to reach their full potential.

At our school, Kaitaia College, not only did we celebrate Pink Shirt Day last week, but we made it into an entire week-long event, with our art competition winners due to be announced tomorrow.

Pink Shirt Day itself is a day where kids at school or adults at work are able to wear a pink shirt to highlight the unnecessary bullying that goes on within our community and offer our support to those it affects. Pink Shirt Day also helps people realise how hurtful bullying can be, and how harsh a few words can appear to someone.

Bullying is a serious matter, and can get out of control, because a bully doesn’t always know the damage they’re causing. And they won’t know until it goes too far.

So what do healthy relationships look like? A hard-working team where the people are always connected and get through the tough times. Where people support and respect each other, no matter how hard times may be.

While I believe bullying can’t be stamped out completely, we can prevent it just by making sure that we have people available to talk to, making it clear how serious bullying is to a lot of people and how bad the damage can be to someone. We just need to pay more attention to the details.

We, as humans, have created the society we live in. And only we, as humans, can prevent these things from happening to each other.

"Bullying is a serious matter . . . a bully doesn’t always know the damage they’re causing. And they won’t know until it goes too far."