Fines wiped of speeding drivers

IT IS the ultimate Christmas gift to careless drivers, in a country that has one of the worst driving records in the world – the mayor of Padua has decided to tear up 112,000 speeding tickets in the name of festive cheer.

Massimo Bitonci said he would cancel the fines amassed by drivers since eight speed cameras were set up in November on main roads outside Padua, near Venice, in northern Italy. One camera racked up 448 violations a day, and motorists were caught doing 180kmh, double the limit.

Bitonci added, however, that there would be no such amnesty for speeding drivers in the new year. ‘‘From next year we will be taking this seriously,’’ he said. Brooks.

‘‘Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.’’ – Rudyard Kipling.

‘‘If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.’’ – Vince Lombardi.

‘‘The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.’’ – Flannery O’Connor.

‘‘In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.’’ – Ellen DeGeneres.

‘‘When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticise or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.’’ – Winston Churchill.

‘‘Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields.’’

‘‘Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.’’ – Kurt Vonnegut.

‘‘Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.’’ – Sir Thomas Beecham.

‘‘A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.’’ – Arthur Brisbane.

‘‘Some things have to be believed to be seen.’’ – Ralph Hodgson.

‘‘It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.’’ – Judith Martin (Miss Manners).

‘‘Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.’’ – Rita Rudner.

‘‘About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.’’ – Herbert Hoover.

‘‘The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.’’ – Sydney J Harris.

‘‘In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.’’ – John C Dvorak.

‘‘Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.’’ – Thornton Wilder.

‘‘Life is a sexually transmitted disease.’’ – R D Laing.

‘‘I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!’’ – Tom Lehrer.

‘‘I can’t bring myself to say, ‘Well, I guess I’ll be toddling along.’ It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s just that I can’t guess I’ll toddle.’’ – Robert Benchley.

‘‘Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.’’ – Gene Fowler.

‘‘Humour is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-inlaw?’’ – Dick Clark.