Problems with siblings whose behaviour offends

existence, but he has stopped speaking to our mother, who needs her meds and someone to eat with her. What a child. What entitlement!

Fed Up With My Brother

Dear What Should I Do and Fed Up: You could offer to pay your sister’s rent for a set period – say three months – with certain stipulations. First, require her to get an assessment in a community mental health centre, and require that she sign a release so they can legally communicate with you.

You would know with greater certainty what’s actually going on. If your sister refuses to sign a release, she is likely not being honest with you about her recovery.

But if she signs a release, and is in compliance with her treatment programme, then you could, in good conscience, continue supporting her until she gets on her feet. It sounds like she would qualify for Medicaid or community health services, which should pay for her treatment.

Concerning the brother, you are indeed enabling his behaviour by paying expenses he could not pay on his own. If you can get your brother to also go to a community health centre and be assessed (with a release), you will know with greater certainty what mental health issues you’re dealing with. If he refuses to go, community health can mandate a home visit to access his mental health – not to mention the health department could pay him a visit.

If he is unwilling to co-operate, you may need a family law attorney to help you with what your legal options are.

Larry Weckbaugh, an addictions counsellor, helped me with these answers.