Left to their own devices

How much screen time is too much?

WE ARE at a villa in the south of France, on our much anticipated family holiday. The sun is shining, the pool is glistening, the sunflowers nod their golden heads in fields that stretch as far as the eye can see – and my children are nowhere to be seen. They are all ensconced inside, in different rooms, on different devices. It is preternaturally quiet.

I have a sense that the four of them, aged one to 14, have perhaps had enough screen time, and that I should know exactly what they are up to.

In fact, the toddler is watching nursery rhymes on YouTube, the 14-year-old is on Facebook and the 12-year-old is playing Fantasy Football on an iPad. My 13-yearold stepson is glued to the small screen of his mobile phone, his brow anxiously creased in fervent concentration, like some mini business mogul monitoring the share market.

Of course, I will get them off the screens and back to more wholesome activities like football, reading, or even just a chat, but for now, their internet addiction is delivering a blissful half-hour of calm in an otherwise chaotic household.

Just let me enjoy another cup of coffee first. In truth, it was a new addition to the family that made me think again about our internet use. When the boys were small, we did finger-painting, made dens, and set fire to ants with magnifying glasses.

Now, with a home full of teenage brothers, my daughter could grow up thinking that staring at screens is what humans were made to do. I have a nagging feeling of guilt that she is getting a raw deal.

We do have a ‘‘no screens in the week’’ rule, except for homework, but I suspect it is regularly broken. Historically, there has been a limit imposed at weekends, too, but that agreement became as trampled as the Alsace/Lorraine border. And I do worry about what they are doing. One day I will update the parental controls on the laptop to stop them accessing forbidden material (when I find out how). But I am weak: Call of Duty, a violent PlayStation war game, has been allowed into the house after months of debate, because ‘‘all my friends have it’’ – and who wants to make their child a social outcast?

The guilt, however, is greater in summer, when they really should be outside. So it is something of a relief to find that, according to new research by academics at leading universities, I am a typical parent.

Researchers from the University of Edinburgh, University of Sheffield and the London School of Economics (LSE) joined academics from six other countries to contribute to a European Commission study looking at under-eights’ behaviour on the internet.

Key findings are that, in the UK, parents’ strategies for managing children’s internet use were at best ‘‘patchy, tending to rely on ad hoc observation’’. And with particular resonance for me, it found that parents have little knowledge of their children’s actual digital use, despite their concerns.

Researchers also reported that children were frequently able to bypass safety settings, and had often covertly acquired their parents’ passwords. (Had the researchers gained access to my house, I wondered?)

In contrast to us hapless Britons, the smug Finns are much more organised at controlling their children’s online activities, and give them more freedom. Some communities actually have ‘‘neighbourhood’’ rules, where neighbours co-ordinate on rules and time limits for internet use. My husband and I can’t even agree on household rules.

Sonia Livingstone, professor in media and communications at LSE and an author of the report, says: ‘‘British parents are among the most fearful and confused when it comes to allowing their children to access the internet.

‘‘[British parents] have a high rate of early adoption of devices, but a tendency just to put these expensive gadgets into their children’s hands, without really knowing what they are doing on them.’’

They think of tablets as toys, she says, and give no thought to what apps are put on them.

‘‘Some of these children can’t yet read or write, and they love YouTube, which is the killer app on the tablet. The child will click down the sidebar, which will either lead them to good or bad content. My Little Pony may get pornographic in just a few clicks.’’

The study found that southern European parents were more restrictive than their British peers over internet use, delaying access until later childhood.

Nordic parents were the most relaxed. Livingstone, who advises the UK Council for Child Internet Safety, and was awarded an OBE last year for her work, has also investigated the behaviour of older children on the web.

She says: ‘‘British parents are walking more blind into the world. Our children are the guinea pigs of the digital age.’’

SO WHAT are young children actually doing online? ‘‘They are doing repetitive things, which is fine, because toddlers learn through repetition.

‘‘In our study, we found that in the UK there is a lot of YouTube, which can be a bit random, a lot of CBeebies, which is all right, and lots of commercial output, like dress-up doll games, where little girls with wasp waists put on sparkly dresses, some of which is rather dubious.

‘‘We tend to give the child a tablet or a phone for a bit of peace and quiet, then worry that they are accessing violence; and we are obsessed with ‘stranger danger’ and our teenagers interacting with dodgy people.

‘‘We don’t know what’s problematic, and what’s good.’’

And we are right to be concerned. She highlights the innocuous-sounding Happy Wheels game, in which players suffer gruesome accidents.

‘‘It’s quite nasty, violent and gory,’’ Livingstone says. ‘‘Yet I’ve seen six-year-olds playing it.’’

It is her view that it is Nordic parents who have discovered the holy grail of digital parenting – monitoring and guiding use by using the web alongside their children, and also giving their offspring much more freedom to be creative online.

‘‘There is so much more exploration in Nordic countries. I’d love to see British parents adopting that attitude. It creates resilient children who want to explore and find out about the world.

‘‘It is part of the culture there – if they get lost, they are told to ask a friendly stranger for help. If you fall, pick yourself up.

‘‘Children are given a sense of freedom to explore the forest, which now extends into the digital sphere. They are not just told, ‘Here you go, here’s a tablet, there is one game on it, which isn’t dangerous’.’’

In theory it sounds good but I suspect that giving my children unfettered freedom would just unleash a tidal wave of mindless YouTube clips and online games, rather than creating free-spirited digi-nymphs darting between intellectually stimulating sites.

So what else can I do? Livingstone recommends better home/school communication, so parents know what educational apps are available and can work with their children at home, so that digital technology is seen as an educational asset, not just another toy or entertainment gadget. She also wants to see innovative, engaging apps for younger children, produced by museums and galleries.

‘‘If these exist, they are not reaching kids – and if they don’t exist, they should,’’ she says.

And parents really must get on top of internet filters because it is not that hard. ‘‘At the bottom of your YouTube home page, there is a ‘safety’ button. Google also has a ‘preferences’ setting, which should be set at ‘moderate’.’’

Most importantly, we should set aside an hour a week to do something fun on the internet with our kids. Livingstone says: ‘‘Get into their world. Just as you might say after supper, ‘Let’s watch Doctor Who’. Have one point in the week where you all just have fun on the internet.’’

This, I might just about be able to do.

Some of these children can’t yet read or write, and they love YouTube, which is the killer app on the tablet. The child will click down the sidebar, which will either lead them to good or bad content. My Little Pony may get pornographic in just a few clicks. Sonia Livingstone, professor in media and communications