‘Boring’ Lions have worrying focus
OPINION: How boring are those Lions? They’re so, so, so boring.
First they couldn’t even score tries. Controlling possession, applying pressure, winning penalties. Dullards, that’s not real rugby.
And now, look at them. A real British rugby team like England were in 2011 would go to Queenstown, take part in a ‘‘dwarfthrowing’’ contest, then still find time chat up lassies at the bar.
From a distance it seems the most trouble the Lions mauled up in Southern Sin City was captured in a photo of Ben Te’o clutching a stubbie. Not a woman, not a little person, but a small beer bottle.
Even when jetboating they wore safety glasses. Boring. What’s that all about?
What it’s about is an indication the Lions are dead-set keen to repeat history by winning a test series in New Zealand for the first time in 46 years
You can take it as read Lions coach Warren Gatland sees Queenstown as helping achieve that aim. A pragmatist, everything Gatland does is aimed at winning.
As an example of his focus, a question to Lions management as to if Gatland would go spare an hour or two to see his horse race at Pukekohe was met with a dismissive ‘‘we’ve got a test to prepare for’’. That was three days out from the first test.
And the very fact that he’s taken a squad of nearly 40 players to Queenstown and trouble either hasn’t happened or is yet to emerge, is something New Zealand rugby fans should be wary of.
It shows Lions players still have their minds on the job, and will arrive in Auckland mentally refreshed to do that job, even if the All Blacks maintain they don’t see it that way.
‘‘I’d rather be training, to be honest,’’ said Jerome Kaino
And here’s Ian Foster, the All Blacks attack coach no doubt stung when Gatland maintained his attack had yet to ‘‘stress’’ his side: ’’I’m not surprised he’s having a relaxing week in Queenstown then, if that’s what he thinks.’’
In New Zealand, the Lions have been playing week-in week-out for five weeks now; nine games in a period where the All Blacks have played just three.
Go back a long-haul plane flight, and they’ve been in action for around 10 months. Will a couple of days relaxing help or hinder tired bodies?
Gatland has opted for the help response. Four years ago when the Lions won a series in Australia with a 41-16 finale, the Lions spent the week before the series decider surfing in Noosa.
In 2009, when they beat the Springboks 28–9 to seal the series, there was down time in the last week.
Queenstown could be seen to work on many levels. It was a way of keeping the team bonded, treating and thanking the midweekers. Having no alcohol ban tells players they are trusted adults, with responsibilities to their mates.
In contrast, Auckland will be a seething traffic jam of pre-test nerves. Saturday shapes as the most intense test any Lion has played in.
Wellington ended in pushing, shoving and acrimony, so getting away to Queenstown will have released that pressure valve for a side which gave up too many poor discipline penalties at Westpac Stadium.
In five weeks since the Lions arrived, they’ve somehow transformed from an ugly duckling on a suicidal mission that could lose every game outside the tour opener - against the Provincial Barbarians XV - to an rather ugly swan with a starter’s chance of winning the series.
That’s not so boring - in fact, it’s about as exciting as the bungee jump Lions test No 8 Taulupe Faletau made in Queenstown.
He will be in for another adrenaline burst on Saturday.