Baking chaos sure to raise a laugh
Missing MasterChef? Try these two crazy cooking shows, writes James Croot.
Lamenting the loss of Gary, George and Matt from your television diet? Or had their mellifluous MasterChef musings, relentless positivity and endless exhortations to ‘‘push’’ driven you to distraction? Either way Sky’s Food TV has a couple of options to help ease you through your postMasterChef hangover.
Those craving something a little more tart after the annual threemonth showcase of saccharine critiques should definitely check out the The Great British Bake Off Creme de la Creme (9.40pm, Thursdays). Overhauled for its second outing (gone are amiable original host Tom Kerridge – replaced by the arch and more-cynical comedian Angus Deayton – and third judge Claire Clark), this professional pastry chef battle is surprisingly leaner and yes, meaner in 2017.
Teams of three are still tasked with creating exquisite-looking miniatures and breathtaking, showstopping centrepieces, but this time there’s absolutely no escaping the critical eyes of fussy Frenchman Benoit Blin and the rule-toting Singaporean Cherish Finden. Anything less than perfection will earn the trios a tonguelashing, a disapproving countenance and basically a school homeeconomics room-style telling off.
‘‘You almost killed me with the acidity!’’ wailed Finden after tasting one recalcitrant petit four recently. ‘‘It was so sharp that I didn’t know whether I was going to spit it out or swallow. It wasn’t that pleasant for me.’’
Yes, this is a show where getting half marks for your framboisier, feuilletine, craquelin, dacquoise, sables Breton or sabayon is a major achievement. Naturally, it makes for compelling car-crash television.
However, those who prefer something a little lighter and less serious should definitely hold out for
"I think I can make something that's alright, but I don't know if the judges will be able to swallow it." Joanna Lumley
The Great Comic Relief Bake Off (Thursdays, 8.30pm, from September 7). Featuring 16 celebrities, this 2015 series not only tests their ability in the kitchen, but also judges’ Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood’s mettle in terms of being able to praise even the most dire of creations.
‘‘Your baking is what I’d call quirky,’’ grimaces the sprightly Berry as she reluctantly samples Dame Edna Everage’s Sydney Opera Houseinspired (‘‘Well Sydney Opera House after a nuclear attack,’’ the baker herself admits) chocolate and meringue cake. ‘‘Are we asking too much? Probably,’’ admits Hollywood after setting that particular showstopper task.
Host Sue Perkins minced her words far less.
‘‘You promised me a No.1, it looks more like a No. 2 to me,’’ she chided 1960s popstar Lulu as her record player-themed cake failed to take shape. Dame Edna also came in for a battering.
‘‘It looks like something you’d find at a dermatologists convention,’’ was Perkins’ withering assessment of the Australian royalty’s ‘‘cobbled together’’ ginger and macadamia nut biscuit.
Still she and her fellow contestants took it all in good grace.
Joanna Lumley freely admitted to not knowing how much a tablespoon is, while also cheerfully confusing instant coffee for cocoa powder. ‘‘I think I can make something that’s alright, but I don’t know if the judges will be able to swallow it,’’ Lumley stated at the outset.
In the end, she did fine, even if her cake mix looked ‘‘more like grouting’’ and she was overshadowed by her Ab Fab companion Jennifer Saunders, who wasn’t adverse to expressing more than a little competitiveness. ‘‘Lulu is doing far too well – I think I might have to turn her oven down.’’
Now that’s something you don’t hear on MasterChef.