Tiger tries his recovery shot
OPINION: A rope ladder drops down in front of Tiger Woods. He looks up to see Michael Jordan staring down, waving him up. He wonders if they’ll all be happy to see him?
Muhammad Ali is shadow boxing while Nadia Comaneci is polishing her Olympic medals. He must remember to ask her about some back stretches.
Sitting off to one side is Serena Williams, holding her new baby girl, looking calm and content.
He sighs and shifts the large, tarnished star under his arm. Can he make it back to that place or has he fallen too far?
On the weekend the golfing god’s threw Tiger a bone. The symbolism was not lost on me.
For the first time in 12 months the 41-year-old finished a competitive tournament at the Hero World Challenge in the Bahamas. The Hero Challenge! Spooky right? Even more freaky was that he finished ninth and was happy with that.
He said things such as, ‘‘It was a very good week,’’ and ‘‘I’m excited.’’ Annnnnd, he teased the media by saying he would like to play regularly next year.
Recently, the only things he’s had in his calendar are back appointments and court appearances so this is a much better plan.
Oh Tiger, how did it come to this? Ten years ago you seemed unstoppable. You were not of this earth, not made of flesh and blood like us blubbering, yipping, golfing hacks.
Unlike us you didn’t know the torture of facing yet another three-foot putt downhill for birdie, self-doubt exploding from within.
You must’ve had doubts, Tiger, but you just brushed them from your sleeve while we were pinned to the ground.
Until you showed up professional golf had been the place where the tubby and unfit could say they too were athletes. But you single-handedly transformed the sport, developing a body and mind to rise above the beer fumes and ciggie smoke.
Now many a supreme human specimen stalks the professional fairways. But even they can only dream of winning the 14 majors that sit on your reinforced mantelpiece. 2008 was the last. The US Open.
Is a 15th unthinkable? Impossible? A sports movie would definitely be made but it might have to be a trilogy considering your complex and bewildering fall from the top.
The world’s first billion dollar sportsman’s life unravelled in 2009 when out of the long rough (or maybe it was that dark pond of a water hazard) came the shocking revelation that Tiger Woods had been having extra-marital affairs and cavorting with porn stars and prostitutes. Two days later he was knocked unconscious in a car crash near his driveway after a heated argument with his wife Elin Nordegren. It was said she attacked the car with an iron.
His secret revealed, his golf game fell apart. Then the back problems started. In April he underwent his fourth surgery in three years.
Tiger Woods’ body and mind had decided to get off the winner’s podium and join the rest of us demon-wrestling mortals.
It’s hard to know how many were surprised to see his bleary and bloated mug shot appear in the media. He was found passed out in his Mercedes with prescription drugs and marijuana in his system and last month pleaded guilty to reckless driving.
He’d already admitted in September that he may never play golf again. You could almost hear the clang of the door closing on his career.
So how on earth did he finish ninth this week? The man should not only be knocked out on the canvas by now, he could quite easily be lying in the front row seating. Physically he’s still recovering from his back being fused and is having to adjust his swing. But the will to win is burning bright. At the halfway stage of the Hero tournament, he was asked if he could make up a five-shot deficit? He replied, ‘‘What do you think?’’ Feisty!
Tiger Woods puts his foot on the first rung of the ladder. It’s swaying all over the place and his old battered star is not making it easy. Never mind, he’ll take it one rung at a time.
A slight breeze blows and he wonders if the others have some polish? He must remember to ask when he gets to the top.