Is Destiny just another gang?
It would be easy to label Paris Winiata as just another misguided Destiny Church member. On social media, he is an ardent supporter of Brian Tamaki and is quick to defend the church. As Nicholas Boyack reports, though, it doesn’t pay to judge a book by it
Paris Winiata turned his back on a professional rugby league career to become a drug dealer. Growing up in the Lower Hutt suburbs of Pomare and Naenae, he had a tough life that could easily have led to him becoming a career criminal and a gang member.
After a difficult childhood, he found contentment with Destiny Church – but has he simply replaced one gang with another?
As a young man, Winiata had difficult relationships with both parents and seldom felt happy. He and his mother moved frequently and Winiata talks about never feeling loved. Not having a strong male role model contributed to him spiralling out of control.
When he and his mother eventually settled in Lower Hutt, Winiata came in to contact with the local chapter of the Mongrel Mob.
His one saving grace was sport. After being identified as a rugby player with a big future, Winiata represented Wellington alongside players who would go on to play in the NRL, Super rugby and for the All Blacks.
It all started to go wrong for Winiata at 15, when his mother left him to work in Australia.
A local family took him in but he was haunted by the lack of interest from his birth parents – the emotions hitting hardest on birthdays and at Christmas, when they failed to send cards.
The one thing he had to fall back on was sport. He was a star in a strong St Bernard’s College first XV, and at age 17, Winiata was offered a development contract by the Melbourne Storm.
Shifting to Australia was a big move for the teenager and with no family support, failure was inevitable.
Returning to New Zealand, life took a turn for the worse when he moved in with a couple of older friends and began selling drugs.
It was a lifestyle that had its rewards. As well as making good money, there was booze and lots of girls.
Winiata knew he was on a destructive path but with no male role model, it was a path he had no idea how to get off. ‘‘I did not know how to apply for a job. I did not even know how to shave, a flatmate had to show me how.’’
Luck was on his side, however, even when he had a brush with the law. He received diversion for a firearms charge but it could have been much worse – the police had been within a few metres of his stash of marijuana.
‘‘It was what really woke me up and made me realise that it was not the life I wanted to lead.’’
At the suggestion of good friend Chad Evans, Winiata went to a service at the local Destiny Church. He was initially reluctant, knowing he ‘‘would have to give up the drugs, and the girls, and the booze’’.
The love of childhood sweetheart Coral helped. The pair had met at Naenae Intermediate and, like Paris, she was a talented at sport, excelled in touch, netball and rugby.
‘‘I always had a thing for her, ever since intermediate, but she was never really interested. I was just your typical young bloke with a bit of charm and an eye for the girls,’’ he said in 2014, after the pair were picked to represent New Zealand in touch.
After joining Destiny, he stopped using drugs and has been alcohol-free for a decade. He returned to playing touch and is a highly regarded personal trainer.
The pair have two children, Haven, 2, and 6-year-old Jireh, who was born with a range of health problems. Many young blokes in his position would have found it all too difficult and bailed out of the relationship.
Instead, Winiata has been a faithful dad, doing everything he wished his father had done for him. He has thrown himself into fundraising so Jireh can get the medical treatment she needs, including a cochlear implant.
Spend time with him and he displays a gentle side to his character that you might not expect.
And that is the funny thing about Winiata, he is a contradiction. Destiny members distrust the media and Winiata is no different.
Yet the best way to describe him is engaging and respectful. He is articulate and answers questions intelligently, and without malice towards those he disagrees with.
Active on social media, he is heavily involved in a Destiny programme called Man Up. At its most basic level, it is about teaching men, especially fathers, to be better men. Respecting women and being active fathers, providing good role models to their sons, is a big part of their message.
That is the positive but there is another aspect of Man Up that is hard to ignore. Check out the church’s videos and you will see men wearing black, being indoctrinated by American-style evangelism.
When it is put to Winiata that he has merely replaced one gang with another, his answers are polite and respectful.
‘‘Each to their own. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I can see why some people would see it as a gang but it is a gang associated with positive change.’’
He is proud of his involvement with Destiny Church and says it’s easy to sit back and criticise. Man Up is about lowering high rates of male suicide, domestic violence and other social problems that men suffer from, he says.
Bringing about positive change that leads to strong families is a good thing and if some people see Destiny as a gang, Winiata says there is not much he can do about that. ‘‘I am proud to be associated with something that can see the good in people and help people change for the better.’’
It is an argument that is hard to disagree with.
His story is about to take another turn. Since cleaning up his act, he has worked as a personal trainer, and for the last few years, has run a Lower Hutt gym. Recently he began training to become a firefighter, something he has always wanted to do.
The 31-year-old now has a much better relationship with his parents and no longer blames them for his early struggles. He believes it was all part of a bigger plan to test him and that he was always destined to find God.
When Brian Tamaki blamed the Kaiko¯ ura earthquake on homosexuals, Winiata took the opportunity to defend Tamaki and explain why he feels so strongly about Destiny.
‘‘I thought the church was all about pansies and pussies but the church showed me there are good, solid men who are good role models. The church has shown me how to cherish being a man.’’
His life, he agrees, has been an interesting one. Winiata hopes his story will challenge people to think differently about Destiny and he would one day like to write an autobiography.
He doesn’t suggest a title but perhaps it could be
You Can’t Always Judge A Book By Its Cover – The Life Of Paris Winiata.