Why are our girls hurting themselves?
Girls as young as 11 and 12 have been involved in a club in which they posted pictures of self-harm on social media. Michelle Duff reports.
Entry into the exclusive club was by invitation only. The rules were simple: cut yourself, and then share a picture on social media. The girls were 11 and 12 years old.
When Frankie* found out her daughter, then 12, was part of this club, she was livid. She wanted to know what the school was doing to shut it down. She says the answer was vague – if it’s not happening on school property, they said, there’s nothing we can do. Soon after, an item about cyber-bullying appeared in the newsletter.
Frankie knew her daughter had been having trouble with some of the ‘‘cool’’ girls. ‘‘I kind of fobbed her off, being like, ‘Oh, girls will be girls, they’re just being bitchy.’ I said: ‘You’ve just got to be you, don’t worry about what they’re saying.’ ’’
It was the school that told Frankie her daughter had been cutting herself. Alone, in her bedroom at night. One of her friends had confided in a teacher.
‘‘It’s not anything I ever saw coming. You don’t ever expect your kids to do this, do you? I think she viewed this as an option, ‘I’m not feeling good about myself and I’m gonna do this.’ They’re all looking for validation among their peer group, and on the internet.
‘‘I try and tell her: ‘What you see on the internet isn’t real. How many times do you think she had to take this photo to get 123 likes?’
‘‘But she thinks she’s a big girl, and she’s starting to have boys look at her, and that’s the other problem.’’
Maybe Frankie should not have been so shocked. Research has found self-harm among young people is common: almost a third of New Zealand teenagers report hurting themselves intentionally at least once.
About 20 per cent of those who self-harm have thought about suicide, as-yetunpublished research from the same long-term study, led by Victoria University psychology professor Marc Wilson, shows.
Rather than wanting to die, those who self-harm often use it as kind of a coping strategy. But it is a worrying sign of distress, that can spiral into suicidal ideation and death.
‘‘The reasons extend from ‘My friend tried it, she told me it was good, I thought I’d try it too,’ to ‘I want someone to listen to me,’ to frustration, to self-hatred, to body image issues,’’ says youth health expert Sue Bagshaw. ‘‘Anxiety is massive, too – young people have a lot to contend with, these days.’’
Most studies, including Wilson’s Youth Wellbeing Study, focus on high school kids. International research suggests the onset of self-harm is around age 12-14, and is more common among girls.
But figures obtained by Stuff show pre-teen girls as young as 10 are increasingly at risk of selfinjury, with a 20 per cent rise in the number of adolescent girls treated at hospital for selfinflicted injuries nationwide in the past four years.
Across all age groups, women are twice as likely to be seen with self-harm injuries than men. But when it comes to girls between 10 and 14, the difference is more stark.
In 2017, girls this age were almost eight times more likely to hurt themselves to the point they needed hospital treatment than boys, according to the Ministry of Health data.
Last year alone, 436 girls in this age group – many of whom are still attending primary and intermediate school – were discharged from hospital. That doesn’t count those who saw GPs or administered to their own wounds.
Hospital discharges for selfharm peak between the ages of 15-19, with 1974 young women and 532 men treated for selfinflicted injuries in 2017.
Psychologists, guidance counsellors and principals say they are dealing with more and younger people self-harming, with the earlier onset of puberty and detrimental effect of social media thought to be contributing to the rise.
They say the Ministry of Education needs to prioritise youth mental health, providing funding for school guidance counsellors and more support for schools well before year 9.
‘‘Self-harm has really started to raise it’s head over the last few years,’’ says the principal of Christchurch’s Kirkwood Intermediate School, Phil Tappenden. ‘‘The impact it has can be really serious on our young people, and it can be really hard for a teacher to see any evidence of it – often we’re told by their friends.
‘‘We’re having kids talking about things at 11 and 12 that they would have been talking about at 14 or 15. Social media can be a helpful tool for good, but there are many aspects that can be used in a negative way.’’
A recent Otago University analysis found almost half of all girls get their periods before high school, in line with a lowering age of menstruation