Writer pens an apology in bid to end run of bad luck

A Wellington writer has penned a ‘‘whimsical’’ public apology in the hope that it will turn around a spate of ill-health.

‘‘I, SM, apologise to the following people, upon whom I played pranks when I was young,’’ read the apology, which was published in the weekend edition of The Dominion Post.

‘‘The man across the road, upon whose roof my brother and I threw gravel from the street after dark.

‘‘Mr and Mrs Tulloch, asked to participate, by phone, in a fictitious vegetable growing survey.’’

The apology listed two other minor youthful misdemeanours.

Author of the apology, Stephanie de Montalk, allowed her identity – and motives – to be revealed by The Dominion Post.

She said she had experienced health problems for some years, which had recently worsened.

‘‘I’ve had a run of bad luck, so I thought, oh, what can I do about it?’’

She said her husband, inspired by humorist PG Wodehouse, had suggested the ‘‘whimsical’’ idea.

‘‘He said, ‘why don’t you apologise for your misdeeds?’ So I thought I better make it a public apology.’’

She hoped it would restore some spiritual and corporeal balance. Many of the ‘‘crimes’’ had occurred about 60 years ago.

‘‘They were just the ones that came to mind. It was a long time ago. There have been many transgressions since.’’

De Montalk said some of the events in the apology had occurred in Wellington, with others in the Far North, where she grew up. She was surprised and amused by the delight her apology had caused. ‘‘It doesn’t seem to have any measurable effect yet but I’m hopeful.’’

Born in 1945, de Montalk is a celebrated writer and poet who has suffered chronic pain since an accident in Poland in 2003. Unable to sit, the former nurse lives much of her life lying down but has written prolifically from her bed.