Locked away with dementia
Jeanette Brunton is watching her husband ‘‘gradually vanish’’.
‘‘His initiative has gone. He doesn’t ring his children or his friends, [but] he is very happy when they ring him,’’ she says.
Brunton is at home with her husband Robin Lane, 85, who has dementia. Under the lockdown she has become his fulltime carer.
He was diagnosed eight years ago – one of 70,000 Kiwis who has the degenerative and incurable condition which has various causes and ranges in severity. They are particularly vulnerable to Covid-19 because of issues they may have understanding or remembering safety precautions.
‘‘He knows there is a virus which means we can’t go out,’’ she said. ‘‘I can explain to him what’s happening, and he is going with the flow.
‘‘He is losing his short-term memory and that’s getting more obvious day-byday. He has been asking when we can get out of lockdown.
‘‘I have told him it will be a long time before we are in the new normal.’’
Experts say the challenges of caring for a loved one with dementia could ramp up as we move down alert levels.
Dementia often starts as forgetfulness but goes on to affect problem-solving and thinking skills as well as stealing memories.
Some lose the ability to read, shop and become frightened or angry.
Auckland woman Jackie Bridges’ long-time partner Todd was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia around four years ago.
It causes nerve cell damage in the frontal lobes, affecting behaviour, personality and language. ‘‘It is the worst type of dementia you can get,’’ she said.
He moved to a rest home in Henderson last July, after 73-year-old Bridges could no longer look after him.
But she hasn’t been able to visit him since before the lockdown.
Resthome staff took him to the foyer so she could say goodbye before the move to alert level 4. ‘‘I tried to explain what was happening.’’
She described him as a gentle soul who was a ‘‘gym bum’’.
The resthome is the best place for him to be, and she felt he was safe from the virus there.
The comments are echoed by Paul Sullivan, chief executive of Dementia New Zealand.
Those with dementia may forget precautions to stop the spread of the virus, such as physical distancing and washing hands regularly.
‘‘When things start opening, and we see some movement, people are able to go out and about and there are more crowds and that kind of thing; they will still need to social distance,’’ he said.
The loss of routine is also challenging for dementia sufferers, he said.
Bridges used to visit her partner every second day for an hour or more, but now they have a weekly 15-minute Skype session. She won’t know if the change has had an impact on him, but is missing hugging him.
And under lockdown, Brunton has little respite. ‘‘It can be really hard to remain patient when you are being asked the same question multiple times.’’
Day-to-day dementia issues such as tiredness and stress are made worse during the lockdown, Sullivan said.
Lane has also lost his routines. He would usually spend five hours a day at a care centre, but now doesn’t leave the house without Brunton.
She has lost in-person support from dementia groups.
A bad day sees Lane spending more time in bed and watching TV. ‘‘I have to go in and urge him to rise and point out physical activity is important for brain activity.’’
Lane, who was a Presbyterian minister, still has an impressive longterm memory and is a whiz at Greek history, philosophy and theology.
‘‘Robin has got a wonderful nature,’’ Brunton said. ‘‘ He has always been kind, he has always had a good sense of humour and a lovely laugh and smile.’’
For now, she is coming up with new ways to spark memories, including going through postcards from trips overseas.
The physical isolation can be particularly hard for carers, Sullivan explained.
‘‘For people with dementia themselves it is not understanding the parameters of the pandemic,’’ he said.
But people should get in contact with those living with the condition.
‘‘It’s crucial that we keep up our relationships and maintain our support,’’ Sullivan said.