Love & Honour
They say that it gets easier with each pregnancy, but as Mai FM’s K’Lee has found with her the birth of her fifth child, that’s not always the case. But after much agony, she’s now just enjoying having her whole family together, she tells Glenn McConnell.
When baby Honour arrived, it happened fast. Her mum, Mai FM radio host K’Lee, remembers the rush of doctors and nurses swarming into the room. There were about 18 people there as Honour made her final dash into the world, more than 10 weeks early.
The pop star-turned-radio host is a mother of five, so she’s no stranger to the maternity ward. The same midwife has delivered all her children, but this last time it was different.
K’Lee had one question when Honour arrived. “As soon as she came out, I was like ‘why are you wrapping my baby in a rubbish bag?’”
It wasn’t really a rubbish bag. It was a special coat to keep her tiny baby warm. In the rush, they didn’t have time to explain everything. Her baby was taken to a separate room, in need of specialist care, and K’Lee told her partner, Lama Saga, to follow.
“Everyone disappeared as they took her away, and I was just in the room pushing the placenta out,” she says. “I said to my midwife, ‘did that just happen?’ She said, ‘take a breath. That was really, really fast’.”
In the weeks before, K’Lee was living in a world of chaos and internal conflict. She couldn’t wait to meet her baby, but she really didn’t want to meet her so soon. She wanted to get home to see her children, but she needed to stay in hospital. She wanted out, she wanted in. She wanted to be there for everyone, but she couldn’t be everywhere at once.
She is used to splitting her time and pushing through a bit of sleep deprivation. Not long after having her last baby, who’s now 2 years old, K’Lee was on Dancing with the Stars. Opinionated strangers told her she shouldn’t be back at work so early, and said she must be an attention seeker. Not so, she says. Her partner relished the chance to spend more time with their children. Their baby was happy.
Kaleena McNabb was born in Rotorua but, as K’Lee, she has lived across the world. She moved to the United States after the release of her self-titled album in 2002. Her music career had taken off a year earlier when she was a 16-year-old student at Waitākere College in West Auckland, and her cover of Mr. Mister’s hit, Broken Wings, went stratospheric. More hits followed and, for a time, she was the biggest pop star in Aotearoa.
Her time abroad was hectic. She dated Coolio, famous for the hit, Gangsta’s Paradise. She narrowly escaped death when strangers unleashed a spray of gunfire at the home she shared with then partner,
DJ Enrique Vasquez. She was the first to be sent home from Celebrity Treasure Island in 2003 because she got sick.
She has faced many challenges. At times, it felt like everything else was training for this moment, she says.
K’Lee prayed each day in the hospital, hoping her baby would not arrive too early.
On Christmas Eve, while her partner made sure the presents were ready for their four other children, K’Lee was in hospital on bed rest. She was there for her birthday, too. She was still there for daughter Illiana’s birthday, and her first day of high school.
“I really felt guilty I wasn’t doing my part as a mum,” she says.
K’Lee was in hospital for seven weeks before Honour arrived. She had to stay there, with doctors monitoring her and the baby.
It was a time of turmoil, but K’Lee says she found a silver lining during those months stuck in, and going back to, hospital.
“You make such great friends, because there are so many other parents going through this with you,” she says. “Knowing you’re in this same situation, it brings you all together.”
Doctors told her the baby had an 85 per cent chance of survival. They told her the risks, and briefed her on the complications that could derail everything. They told her she might need to leave her family in Auckland, and transfer to Dunedin Hospital, as neonatal wards across the North Island were full.
“Then Auckland Hospital [staff ] said, ‘you know what, let’s do our best to stop contractions and stop her coming out’, which they did three times.”
She jokes that those weeks were spent squeezing her legs shut. And hoping for the best. There was a lot of hope.
“I just had to believe it would be OK. The stats they gave us were daunting and so morbid,” she says.
It worked. Honour was born on February 7 this year. The pregnancy lasted 29 weeks and four days. They were only a few days off the target of 30 weeks, but she was still early enough that Honour continues to need help breathing.
Honour spent 11 weeks in Starship Hospital, after being so small she could not even drink.
“This has forced me to sit in the moment, be still, patient and take it in,” K’Lee says, Honour resting on her chest.
K’Lee’s pēpi (baby) looks calm, but apparently carries an impressive scream. K’Lee gleams with pride talking about how loud her baby can shout.
K’Lee prayed each day in the hospital, hoping her baby would not arrive too early.