Natalie Sisson and Joshua Vial

Natalie Sisson, 43, and Joshua Vial, 41, met at an entrepreneurial conference, just down the road from where they now live in Mangaroa Valley, north of Wellington. Five years later, the monetisation coach and tech entrepreneur are expecting their first ch

NI was at a conference called New Frontiers. I remember watching him up on stage; being mesmerised because he was an interesting, quirky mix of slightly hippie, with his shirt on, and then super nerdy, with curly hair and glasses. And talking about this big topic that was over quite a few people’s heads. I found that captivating.

I followed up with an email... We met at Olive Cafe, in Cuba St. And I remember walking in and going: ‘‘Play it cool, but this guy’s quite attractive, and you’re here for a business meeting.’’

When I got back to New Zealand, I was well aware that I had a really limiting narrative that I was telling myself, which was: I love being single, I’m fine, I’m great. And I was like: ‘‘You know what? Maybe it’s time to find that special person. Or maybe, you’ve enjoyed your single life, but would it be richer with somebody else?’’ A friend said: ‘‘You should do the ‘perfect man list’.’’ It is literally writing as many qualities of somebody you would love to meet on a list. Then you put that list away, but start intentionally being open to receiving that. I swear it was just a week later that I went to the event, and then we met up for coffee… So I think it was actually, literally, the intention of being open to it, and then people came into my world.

He was so sure from the get-go. And he was so open with his feelings about love that I think that scared me… It wasn’t the whole ‘‘sparks flying’’ kind of thing. But there was something so grounded, and loving, and reassuring about it that it was quite confronting. I managed to push him away three times, but he just stayed open. It showed a real sign of maturity and confidence within himself that was actually really sexy. I think I tried my best to sabotage it, if I’m really honest.

The turning point was we’d both been overseas – we were in the [Dubai] airport at the same time, on the same connecting flight. I remember meeting him again and it just felt like coming home. I’m not into fairytale romances. You soon realise sparks can fly, but what really gets you through is a deep, genuine love and respect for each other.

I’d never wanted kids. It wasn’t that I didn’t like kids, I just remember all throughout my life not being interested. Then last year, he had this vision of our kid coming to see him in the woodshed. And he mentioned it over dinner really casually.

It really touched me. So I said: ‘‘Do you want to just talk about the possibility?’’

I honestly think it was a five-minute conversation.

We literally shook on it.

JIt’s really lovely when we welcome people. It’s like: ‘‘Oh yeah, we met in that paddock, just down the road. And then a year later, we decided to buy a property 10 minutes from here. And then three years after that we’re here in this place.’’ It feels like there’s a sense of groundedness here which, coupled with not commuting, has really changed my perspective on where I live and what home feels like.

We had a coffee, then I think we went out for dinner, and went for a date, and spent a week together, and then she went to Portugal. Six months later, we’re in a yurt, at that conference where we’d met for the first time. And she’s like: ‘‘Hey, what about lifestyle property?’’ Natalie was hot and cold for a little bit over that first year.

I was just like: ‘‘OK, if it doesn’t feel right, cool. And if it does feel right, that’s cool, too.’’ I was keen for something more. If that didn’t happen, I was perfectly OK with that situation. That no-pressure approach was something that felt pretty natural. And we’re both happy with where it landed.

I really love Natalie’s drive, ambition; [she’s] smart, really hardworking and fun. I love the action-taking bias – if there’s an option to do it now or do it later, it’s always do it now, which is a little bit different to mine.

A few of our big life decisions have been pretty impulsive. [In August], we were pretty happy not having kids. We were always take it or leave it. Then we had a discussion, when I said: ‘‘I imagined a little kid running around the property here.’’ Twenty minutes later, we shook hands and agreed to have a kid. In six or eight weeks, she was pregnant. It happened really fast.

It’s been a pretty whirlwind time, but we work very well together. I feel like we’re a pretty good team for getting things done and making decisions. It’s just good fun. We’ve got a lot of alignment about the intentionality of how we live and what we’re trying to manifest in terms of work, family, house and all those sorts of things. I’m looking forward to the change of the baby stuff and super grateful we can both work remotely from such a beautiful place and part of the world.

Natalie Sisson’s new book, Suck It Up, Princess, is on sale now.