‘It’s not a bad thing for boys to cry’
Wellington City councillor Simon Woolf has opened up on the mental toll council life has taken on him, his family and his colleagues.
Wellington City councillor Simon Woolf has opened up about mental struggles, the need for a council psychologist and concerns he has for some of his colleagues.
In a wide-ranging interview Woolf talked of the death of his parents, his children being teased for his public profile, and of coming home from council meetings so wound up he did not have time for his own family.
Woolf, 60, is among a growing number of middle-aged men and older seeking counselling. He was speaking in the hope doing so would help others, including colleagues, seek help if needed.
It comes amid a period of hightension at the council, which was most recently highlighted in a public meeting on Thursday when Mayor Andy Foster was ordered to apologise to a former staff member and councillor Jenny Condie. It was after Foster tried to pass on confidential information from that former staffer to Condie and one other.
Numerous councillors last week revealed the mental toll the council’s rancour had been causing and Woolf said then he had gone home from council meetings and cried.
‘‘When you get to the stage that we have in council, last Thursday was a really good example, we probably need an organisational psychologist to help us [councillors] all,’’ Woolf said yesterday.
‘‘I think a psychologist could help at least most of us, if not all of us, in some sort of way.’’
Following Thursday’s meeting, Woolf recognised the signs of building tension in himself so ‘‘got myself way out of the area’’.
‘‘I went down to Oriental Bay and I took in the beauty of it.’’
He confirmed he had genuine concerns for the mental wellbeing of some of his current council colleagues.
‘‘It shouldn’t be that your families are taking on board all this stuff but, quite often, other councillors have told me they go home, and they vent to their husbands, or they are angry to their kids. It’s not a good way of working.’’
Woolf said his own children had suffered for his job.
‘‘My kids have been teased at school, they have read stuff and seen stuff that perhaps isn’t in context or is untrue . . . they go through a lot, they go through the situation where their father comes home and he’s angry, or he just wants his space.’’ Woolf’s father, Ronald
‘‘Quite often, other councillors have told me they go home, and they vent to their husbands, or they are angry to their kids. It’s not a good way of working.’’
Simon Woolf
Woolf, died in a helicopter crash in 1987. It took him eight years to get help.
‘‘In those days boys didn’t get counselling, boys didn’t go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist unless it was pushed upon you,’’ Woolf said.
But eight years on Woolf had a midair incident in which he was almost flung from a helicopter then catapulted back inside.
‘‘I started reacting terribly. I was angry, I couldn’t understand how this could happen. My wife, after a week, said you haven’t been handling things terribly well for quite some time.’’
That was his first time at counselling, but he had returned a number of times since.
‘‘In the political and public arena it can be seen as a weakness to get help, when in reality it is a strength to get professional assistance.’’
He was still processing the February death of his mother, holocaust survivor and cofounder of the Holocaust Centre of New Zealand, Inge Woolf, but imagined he would go to counselling about that.
‘‘I would have never got to where I am now without that counselling and without that assistance and, you know, it’s not a bad thing for boys to cry.’’
National Association of Counsellors president Christine Macfarlane said the last few years had seen an increase in middleaged men and older seeking help.