You would in Wellington, wouldn’t you?
You would in Wellington. You would what? Get blown over waiting for a bus? Witness a pipe bursting? Get frustrated at council cost blowouts? Get stuck in traffic? Age 20 years waiting for the Town Hall to re-open?
According to the latest campaign from WellingtonNZ, formerly WREDA, you would, or maybe even will, come to Wellington this winter. I hope WellingtonNZ didn’t spend too much on their new “you would in Wellington” slogan.
Nevertheless, the accompanying ad is well-made and quirky, and it’s nice that places like Upper Cuba Street are featured and not the usual bland Te Papa/Parliament/Cable Car trifecta. But the slogan? Australia attracted tourists by saying “where the bloody hell are you?” and as much as it offended some, it was audacious and attracted attention. It apparently didn’t increase tourist numbers, although some claimed it increased overall tourist spending – attracting wealthier visitors.
“You would in Wellington” is about as provocative as a council neighbourhood engagement survey. It’s not that it’s bad or offensive, it’s just not very good. I suspect my ambivalence is typical, given that in a recent online survey just over half of the more than 700 people surveyed liked the slogan and just under half didn’t.
Was it pre-tested outside the WellingtonNZ offices? Perhaps it needs an accompanying note: No horses have been scared in the making of this slogan.
WellingtonNZ’s last foray into attracting visitors – the Wellington sign with the ‘I’ missing – was a good one. Snobby locals (myself not included in this rare case) who love the Writers’ Walk, the Len Lye fountain and the beautiful waterfront views to walk, cycle and scooter past, found the Put Yourself in ‘Well_ngton’ sign tacky and common. The only people who like it seem to be the thousands of out-of-towners whom I see gleefully photographing each other every time I walk, bike or scooter past.
The 1990s Absolutely Positively Wellington was a slogan I hated with a vengeance, as did a lot of Wellingtonians. Yet many – probably far more than those who disliked it – loved it, even if it was a cheap Saatchi’s knock-off. It worked.
But it is a big ask trying to come up with a slogan that attracts visitors to Wellington in winter. “The weather’s crap but there’s lots to do indoors,” or “Bounce into Wellington by plane,” or “Come to Wellington and feel the southerly brrrrrrrrrrreeeze” may all be true but I’m not sure such slogans would ensure airline and hotel reservations.
So, if you didn’t live in Wellington what would you do if you came here for a winter visit? As much as I love it in February when a neighbour drops a crayfish off, I’m not sure many potential visitors would have the inclination or the gear to catch one off the freezing south coast as they do in the ad. A hike or bike ride to see the seals at Red Rocks might be an enjoyable alternative. And there are heaps of indoor activities here in winter – theatre, cafes, craft beer, music, shopping – for out-of-towners to enjoy.
The city’s not as overcrowded as it can be in summer, so getting around is comparatively simple, and accommodation is easier to find. And as much as it’s a cliché, the odd bright sunny winter’s day really is unbeatable. The wind in winter, cold southerly sneaking up from Antarctica notwithstanding, is not as blowy as during the November and March equinoctials.
So, despite the tepidity of WellingtonNZ’s new slogan, if it does manage to attract some winter visitors, what will they do here? Not much if the WellingtonNZ website is to be believed. This is not because nothing ever happens in Wellington, it’s just that many events simply don’t make it to the events part of the website that we pay for with our rates.
Any night of the week in winter there will be plays, concerts, comedy, improv and gigs on in Wellington. But go to the WellingtonNZ events website and all that’s listed for this Friday night, for example, is two exhibitions imported from overseas and a Phoenix game.
Unfortunately, this is typical of WellingtonNZ. Rather than promoting the whole city they tend to handpick a few projects, usually held at council venues. I remember arriving in New York for the first time, buying a Village Voice and being amazed at the sheer quantity of things on – from jazz and classical concerts to Broadway shows to exhibitions to weird off-off-Broadway stuff.
Surely if we’re spending money trying to get people to Wellington, we should also be telling them what to expect when they arrive. It’s not a competition between Wellington’s council venues and others. Wouldn’t it be great if you could arrive in a city, go to a council-funded website, tap in “what’s on in Wellington” and find out ALL the different arts events and gigs that are on, what cafes were serving, and what interesting talks and lectures were taking place.
Unfortunately, you wouldn’t in Wellington.