Things not to have in your home at any stage or age
Wondering what to bin in your next declutter? Start with these.
As an interior designer, there are some design and decor elements that delight my senses every time – a high ceiling, a wonderful mantelpiece, a lush house plant, a piece of art positioned just so to be the perfect focal point – and there are others that make me positively shiver.
On the one hand, I’m all for people living in their homes in whatever way they like. It is your space after all, it’s important that it feels right to you and functions in a way that enhances your lifestyle.
However, when it comes to style, knowing what to keep out is as important as knowing what to welcome in.
So if you’d like my professional, artistic opinion on this – and you’re still reading so presumably you do – here are the things you just shouldn’t have in your house, at any age or stage.
‘Live, laugh, love’ posters
Ah, the hackneyed cliche lifestyle poster, so very 2014. Did any of us know or remember to breathe, smile, live, laugh or love before they arrived?
To me personally, all of these little internet quips overflow with a kind of toxic positivity that is just a bit worrying. Maybe it’s OK to admit when we’re not OK, instead of putting another sign on the wall about using the lemons life gave you to make a G&T? I might be too cynical. I know for some people that surrounding oneself with such tropes is uplifting. And I suppose if that’s you, well you do you, boo.
But if we’re going to consider them from a perspective of style, the answer is no.
Glamour photos of yourself
Many moons ago I visited a friend’s mother’s house and was paralytically caught off-guard to discover that she had installed life-size glamour photos of herself throughout every room of the home.
It was confronting, to say the least, to try and get into bed that night with a reclining, full-size image of my friend’s mum in a negligee, coquettishly staring down from above the bed.
Please don’t ever do this to your friends or children. If you must have glamour photos (and do you really need them?), keep them in your own room.
Old-fashioned net curtains
There’s something about those short, ruffled 1950s kitchen curtains that just says – this house has seen better days.
They bunch up all funny on the wires they suspend on, soak up grease from cooking, and just generally look rubbish. Please bring your home into the 21st century and peel these things off.
Any sort of curtain tied in a knot
Whenever I drive past and see curtains in a home’s window tied in a knot, I can tell that the people who live there have given up one way or another.
Please, for the love of the design gods, do not ever tie your curtains in a knot. It ruins your curtains, and makes your home look like a halfway house.
There are more curtain tieback solutions available than ever, and you don’t have to use the kind with a cord, which admittedly can also look old-fashioned unless it’s done exactly right. You can get lunar influenced brass curtain tieback hooks from Temu for as little as $4.78, or French-style ones from The Home Loft for $127.20. There’s no need to knot them, please.
Fluffy toilet seat covers
I’m not really sure of why or how these travesties ever came to be. Was it because someone also wanted to use the closed toilet as a bathroom seat? Even if this was the case, and with or without a fluffy topping, using your toilet for anything other than a toilet, is kind of gross.
If you want a seat in your bathroom and you have the space, absolutely get one. A cane occasional chair or velvettopped stool can look cool and be very handy too, but leave the fluffy toilet seat covers back in the 70s where they belong.
Used alcohol paraphernalia
Unless you are a student or an actual brewer, having alcohol paraphernalia like shot glasses, empty bottles, and liquor brand posters in your house is juvenile.
For example, I love grapefruit juice, does that mean I need posters of it on my bedroom wall and empty juice bottles on display on a shelf in the lounge?
New Zealand society already has a problem with binge-drinking, so do your part to positively affect social culture by no longer glorifying the consumption of alcohol as decor in your home.
There are so many other cooler and more inventive ways you can make your home feel full of personality. If you’re a bit stuck, try bringing in your favourite colours through some accessories or a fresh lick of paint, or picking up a real framed art print from a gallery that champions Kiwi artists.
No bath mat or hand towel
Rather than the presence of something, I would like to take this moment to bring your attention to the absence of two crucial pieces of bathroom soft furnishings – the bath mat and hand towel.
You should have at least two of each, in an acceptable condition, and rotated to be washed once a week, so that when people come over, there is something clean for them to dry their hands on. I don’t care if this gets me invited to fewer places. If you don’t have a clean hand towel out then sorry, but I’m not coming.
Chipped plates and mugs
If you’re a person who loves a cup of tea or perhaps uses in their home a cherished dinner set from their nana, suffering a chip or breakage to a piece in the collection really does feel like a blow.
Whether it was your favourite mug or not, if it’s chipped, it’s time to say goodbye.
Not only does chipped serving-ware bring down the look of your home, such nicks can harbour germs, and they’re just not a nice item to offer guests.