Are we just papering over the electricity (and gas) cracks?
Newspapers have always been good for more than just news. Beyond the noble calling of informing the public on matters of politics, crime, sports, dog shows, deaths, and cinema screenings, they’ve also been a handy utility for the family.
From lining draws, to wrapping fish and chips, protecting other foods from mince, stopping boots losing their shape, and of course helping to get a fire going. Whether indoors or out, newspapers and fires have a long productive history.
So, if you are reading this online, consider going out and buying a hard copy, because after the last week you may just need the heating supplies. Also it will save on power-sapping screen time.
If you’re experiencing the frustration of privately realising you genuinely do not understand how power works, you are not alone. Part of the issue is taking it for granted, whether political or electrical. Someone somewhere pulls either a metaphysical or simply physical lever and the lights stay on… Or go off... that’s how it happens, right?
Many people’s main interaction with electricity – and probably their own sense of power – comes from switches; a light switch, a power switch, and the main switch in the power box when either of the first two seem to fail.
There is darkness, and then there is light. The house is cold, then it becomes warm. In biblical times these almost instantaneous changes would be miraculous, but you, oh simple human, can accomplish them all with the flick of an index finger, and a monthly payment of an admittedly increasing stressful amount.
Then suddenly it’s autumn, there’s high winds and rain, you’re pretty sure you live in a country of hydro-electric dams and wind turbines, yet for some reason there’s a danger the power will go off in the middle of a cold snap. What’s behind this cold snap? Apparently a high pressure system hanging over the country, which is technically to do with nature, though National are working on a way to frame it as the former Labour government’s fault.
Isn’t there emergency coal? Is that a thing? What are the actual splits between all the electricity sources nationally? Does the government have a really big power bank somewhere?
No, you’ve never thought about that before, because no-one ever told you to conserve heat on a cold morning in the first fortnight of May. That should be a late June conversation at best. Everyone knows the traditional order of the Kiwi winter zeitgeist is The Naming of the All Blacks, The Queenstown Winter Festival, and then stressing about power supplies. Oh the issue is gas? Well, have they considered rigging a collection unit up to The Beehive? Politicians have been on televisions and radios asking you to either conserve power or at least have some stored up. Considering that many people over the past few years have immediately switched off at a politician’s appearance, it is an admirable and probably effective campaign.
There shouldn’t really be a need to tell Kiwis to cut down on warm showers in cold weather, unless people are particularly keen to spend the money saved on eczema cream.
You’re hopefully enjoying a hot drink – sans any scratching – thinking that in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis, conserving any power – or even sense of power – is optimistic. Turning the heating off would probably be a little easier in a county that wasn’t so culturally offended by insulation and double-glazed windows.
Thankfully, but also a little annoyingly, after all the hullabaloo of late-night charging, water-bottle filling, and lastminute washing, nothing happens. Power is saved, or at least not used en masse, though you’re a little bit colder, and slightly more in the dark both at home and on the issue of supply.
Did you make a difference? Did turning off the Sky box at the wall really save the day? If everyone was supposed to conserve usage, but you charged up power banks and personal batteries when you otherwise wouldn’t have, did that add or subtract?
Is there a power grid version of Dr Ashley Bloomfield we can get for this?
So many questions because as it turns out, embarrassingly, so very little knowledge. It seems the world is more complicated than “Light off = low bill
= save planet” and that can be quite disheartening if this type of situation is about to become typical.
Was this a bump in the road? Or are we heading down the gravelly trails of cold climate/low power? Does everyone need to be rushing to The Warehouse (or Farmers for the snobs) to grab an extra duvet? Will the Briscoes’ lady be announcing a “Save power and 60% off prices” sale imminently?
Obviously, in the meantime, keep those portable batteries charged, and maybe stockpile some newspapers.
James Nokise is a regular opinion contributor, a comedian, writer and podcaster.