Pike River hero’s shattered life
Families’ despair, grief a daily struggle
‘‘I should have died on that day and often wish that I had.’’
Daniel Rockhouse, the undisputed hero of the Pike River coalmine blast for saving a colleague’s life, has revealed his shattered life at one of the most emotional public hearings since the November 2010 tragedy that killed his brother and 28 workmates.
His victim impact statement was read out yesterday at the sentencing of Pike River Coal Ltd (in receivership) at Greymouth District Court, along with about 20 others.
Tears flowed freely as the horrendous legacies left by the deaths of the 29 men were detailed.
‘‘This tragedy has left me feeling tremendous guilt for not being able to help others and questioning why I survive,’’ Rockhouse said.
‘‘My marriage had collapsed and my wife has returned to Germany with my children due to my anger and behaviour since this event,’’ the 27-year-old father of four’s statement said.
‘‘I lost my much-loved little brother, very close friends and workmates that day.’’
The exhausting trudge out of the mine supporting his good friend Russell Smith, the only other person to survive the blast, ‘‘will haunt me for ever’’.
Many of the other families criticised Pike River Coal Ltd for killing their husbands, partners, sons and children and for failing to take responsibility for their actions.
Michael Monk’s mother, Kath Monk, was the first to read a victim impact statement and said it was wrong to call the blast an accident.
‘‘The definition of an accident is an unforeseen event or one with no apparent cause but in our eyes, this was not the case.
‘‘We are disgusted that to this day no-one from Pike River Coal has apologised personally to our family for the loss of Michael.
‘‘It makes us feel that there is so little value placed on the lives of the 29 men.’’
The blast had robbed her family of seeing Michael marry, have children and have a successful future, she said.
She said it was a parent’s instinctive duty to protect their children ‘‘and we were not able to do this’’.
‘‘Initially we clung to the hope that Michael had survived, was maybe injured, was he burnt, suffering, afraid, scared and calling out for our help. Was he alone, warm, did he have anything to drink? He would expect we would be doing our utmost to rescue him, but we were not allowed any access to the mine area.’’
Milton Osborne’s widow, Anna Osborne, wept as she told of being unable to bring her husband’s body home and hold a memorial service for him.
‘‘I have not, cannot and will not be able to move forward until I have buried Milton with dignity and respect in a place of my choice. Not where he remains trapped today.’’
She said she had struggled with depression, anxiety and illness since becoming a widow ‘‘in the blink of an eye’’ at age 44.
‘‘I find myself trapped in this surreal world of depression and a downward spiral where there seems no escape.’’
She missed her beloved husband badly, putting on a false smile when she went out but crumbling behind closed doors.
Negligence by ‘‘so many people’’ had caused her dearlyloved husband’s early death, she said.
‘‘This was no accident. It was totally avoidable and unnecessary.
‘‘This disaster should have and could have been avoided. So many people at so many levels failed our guys and destroyed our worlds.’’
Peter O’Neil’s widow, Tammie O’Neil, said her husband had 38 years experience as a miner and would have been the most experienced man in the mine when it exploded.
He was also an active member of Mines Rescue for 22 years and would have never put himself at risk, she said.
The fact she had been unable to bury her husband was difficult to bear.
He had missed so many family milestones, including his youngest daughter’s wedding last year.
‘‘Since the Pike River tragedy, I have difficulty sleeping. I find myself continuously trying to relive Peter’s last moments, wondering what he was thinking, did he suffer and what went so very wrong down the mine that day.
‘‘There are days when I struggle to get out of bed in the mornings, go to work and try to be strong for my family.’’