Mum’s guilt over abuse
‘I’ll carry that blame for the rest of my life’
Riddled with guilt, Natasha Hening has vowed never to have a child again.
For nearly a decade, the 38-year-old mother has lived with the knowledge she might have been able to prevent her infant daughter from suffering serious head injuries.
As police investigate the deaths of young children in Canterbury and Greymouth, she has spoken publicly for the first time to warn parents about the dangers associated with shaking a baby.
‘‘[Children] are more vulnerable than we are as adults. They can’t put their hand up and say ‘hey, you’re hurting me’.’’
Hening said she watched as her partner, Christopher Dean Matthews, shook their daughter, Caitlin Matthews, who was less than three months old, at their home in Christchurch in 2005.
She never confronted him about it or raised concerns with others.
Caitlin, now aged 9, has severe brain damage and cannot walk or talk, is legally blind, wears nappies and is fed through a tube in her stomach. Experts have told her family that she has the mental age of an 8-month-old and requires constant care.
It has never been proven that the shaking Hening witnessed caused Caitlin’s brain damage, but she regrets not intervening.
‘‘I think I made a lot of mistakes,’’ she said. ‘‘It’s something I’m not proud of. I know that I will carry that guilt and blame for the rest of my life.’’
Every year dozens of children are admitted to hospitals across New Zealand with injuries suffered as a result of abuse.
Nearly half of them are aged under five.
ACC estimates that the lifetime cost of caring for a brain-damaged infant is about $20 million.
Caitlin was born on June 15, 2005. She was a happy baby who got into a regular feeding routine and slept easily.
Hening said that due to financial constraints she returned to work at a childcare centre about six weeks after giving birth.
Matthews was working night shift at a bar and looking after their daughter during the day. He was not getting much sleep in between, Hening said.
Caitlin was rushed to Christchurch Hospital on September 17, 2005, suffering seizures.
The infant was found to have a serious head injury and had sustained damage to both sides of her brain.
Without medical intervention she would probably have died.
At first, Hening told police she had no idea how Caitlin was injured, but later said she had seen Matthews shaking the baby.
She said she had acted out of misplaced loyalty when she initially covered for Matthews.
‘‘I was in a relationship with someone I thought I really loved and cared about. I trusted him.’’
She was sentenced to 18 months’ jail in 2006 after admitting that she failed to report gross mistreatment of her daughter.
‘‘You were her last line of defence, and you failed her in a very serious way, ‘‘ the judge said at the time. Matthews admitted causing grievous bodily harm with reckless disregard for safety and assault on a child, and was jailed for two years and nine months.
The Crown said he shook Caitlin on two occasions to quieten her.
Judge Garry MacAskill said it had not been proven the shaking was responsible for the permanent damage the baby suffered and Matthews could not be held accountable for her ongoing suffering.
A paediatric neurologist who gave evidence at trial said Caitlin’s brain injury was most likely caused by more severe actions than Matthews had admitted to.
Hening said that when she saw Matthews shaking Caitlin she did not think it would cause any damage. No-one had warned her about the dangers of shaking a baby.
She said she would never have another child because she could not risk a similar incident happening again.
Caitlin has lived with her grandparents, Bevan and Kay Matthews, at their home in Hillmorton ever since she was injured.
Hening looks after her one night a week. ACC funds her care entirely. Bevan Matthews said the couple planned to put Caitlin into full-time residential care in the next few months. It was a difficult decision but one that had to be made.
‘‘She needs 24/7 care and eventually I will not be around any longer because I’ll be with the gods.’’
Caitlin’s case served as a warning to all parents, he said.
‘‘If you’re getting to the stage where you’re feeling as though you’re going to blow your top, walk away and just go and have some time out.
‘‘A screaming child won’t die.’’