‘I’ve had enough’ – caravan mum
A tiny stray kitten hides under Trina Nesbitt’s borrowed caravan.
It has wide eyes, fearful of coming out. Nesbitt decided to adopt it. ‘‘I know how it feels,’’ she said. Nesbitt has lived at a north Canterbury caravan park with her two children for four months, unable to find an affordable home to rent.
It is in stark contrast to her once settled life. She rented a home for 10 years and had a steady job as a receptionist. The change has broken her. In front of her children she is bright and bubbly, but today, the magnitude of where she is living, from where she has been, overwhelms her. Tears course down her face. She tries to apologise for them.
She never thought she would be living in a ‘‘trailer park’’. It costs $300 a week.
‘‘I’ve just had enough. I get just so sad and that’s not me,’’ she said. Nesbitt cannot find a rental. ‘‘I never dreamed it would be so hard to get a home.
‘‘Amumwith children? You don’t get a look in. It’s the prices of housing. It’s just so expensive.’’
After the 2011 earthquake Nesbitt was forced to move from her rental home because the landlord tripled the rent after renovations.
She found a series of shortterm homes and then a permanent one, but had to move out when the owners needed it for their own daughter, who was homeless.
Nesbitt lost her job. A crash claimed the family car.
The caravan is cold, which eats at Nesbitt’s arthritis.
She and her children share beds.
Her daughter has anxiety. It was getting better until they moved into the caravan.
Nesbitt gets up five times during the night to walk her children to the communal showers and toilets.
‘‘I know I’m probably being an over-protective mum, but I just can’t let them go by themselves,’’ she said.
On school days, Nesbitt buses with her children to their schools. She chats to the teachers to make sure her children are doing OK. From there, she walks to the Kaiapoi library to house and job hunt until it is time to pick up them up.
She does not like going back to the caravan – a reminder of her ‘‘failure as a mum’’.
‘‘It breaks my heart because I feel like I’ve let them down. Every day they say to me ‘Have we found a house?’’’ she said. She misses her ‘‘old life’’. ‘‘It’s the small things like having people over for a barbecue. Or, this sounds silly I know, cleaning the house.
‘‘My sister, every time she leaves here she cries. She hates coming here and hates seeing us like this.’’
Nesbitt reads to distract her from her surroundings.
At least for those few hundred pages, she can pretend her children do not live in a caravan.
It is nearing 3pm. Nesbitt wipes away her tears to get ready to go to meet her children.
She must remain upbeat for them. It is what mothers do, she said. A month later, Nesbitt is still at the caravan park. She is no closer to finding a home.