What parents should know about puberty
Ihave three kids, all in various stages of growth and development, and despite knowing the ‘‘medical’’ textbook stuff, puberty has been a time of intrigue and interest for me as a parent.
I am amazed how fast their bodies can change, how rapid the rate of growth is, and how early it all seems to start! I definitely wasn’t ready for it, but (touch wood) so far it has been an easier road than I imagined.
Puberty is the transition between childhood and adulthood, both in a physical sense, but also an emotional and psychosocial one. As with most things in life, the experience of puberty differs hugely from person to person – some will start late, some early, some will cope well with all the changes, and others less so.
I don’t claim to have any particular advice or wisdom to share, but would suggest that forewarned is forearmed, so to speak… so knowing what you might expect before it is happening in front of your eyes is a good plan!
Over time, the age of onset of puberty has definitely lowered.
In 1860 for example, the average age of onset of puberty for girls was 16.5 years old – it is now about 10.5 years old, and there are similar trends seen amongst boys too, although they typically ‘‘finish’’ puberty later than girls.
No one is really sure why there has been such a marked drop in age, but most theories suggest that it is because of reduced exercise and increased body fat. Whatever the reason, the reality is for children today anything from 8 to 14 years can be consider a ‘‘normal’’ age to be starting this journey.
For girls, the beginning of puberty is usually heralded by the development of ‘‘breast buds’’ – small, firm lumps underneath one or both nipples, that can be intermittently tender.
These are normal, but often a cause for concern. This is followed by hair growth – in the pubic area, as well as on the arms, legs, arm pits and occasionally other areas such as the upper lip.
This stage is often associated with the start of sweating, body odour and the self-consciousness that comes with it. Skin may become spotty, and body shape starts to change, with deposition of fat around the hips and bottom area, and rapid growth in height.
Periods usually start about two years into puberty, and initially tend to be a bit erratic and unpredictable. By four years, puberty in girls is almost complete, and their growth spurt draws to an end.
For boys, the process is similar, but often takes a bit longer. One of the first signs for boys is enlargement of the testes, and thinning and darkening of the scrotum area. This will be accompanied by hair growth, at first along the base of the penis, but eventually extending onto the rest of the pubic area.
Over the next four or more years, boys will notice their voices changing – often unpredictably to start with, before becoming constantly deeper. Skin changes are normal, but can have a huge impact on self-esteem for both boys and girls at this age.
There will be growth of the penis as well as the testes and scrotum, and often a marked increase in height, with boys growing as much as 7-8 cms a year during this phase. Ejaculations and erections start to occur, often as ‘‘wet dreams’’ to start with. Pubertal changes are usually complete for boys by about 18 years of age – but this does not mean that the emotional or social journey is complete! Other than ensuring you are aware of the ‘‘normal’’ changes that occur during puberty, it is really important as parents to be able to talk about this stuff with your kids.
Certainly for younger children, you will probably be the first port of call for advice.
Many children, mine included, are horrified at the thought of being given ‘‘the talk’’ – but introducing sex, puberty, body changes and other topics into your family conversations from an early age is a really good idea.
That way, there are no ‘‘taboos’’ and your children will feel free to come and ask questions when they arise – which is unlikely to be the time that you would have chosen!
Don’t underestimate the impact of puberty on them either. It can be an incredible journey – testing out how to be an adult one step at a time, exploring your gender, sexuality, your body but it can also feel frightening and out of control. There is a fine line between the normal ups and downs of a teenagers emotions, and devastating illnesses such as anxiety or depression.
If you are worried your child may be outside the spectrum of ‘‘normal’’ puberty, be it physically, emotionally or socially – or if they are expressing concerns - it is really worth seeking advice.
Most areas in New Zealand now have speciality youth ‘‘one-stop shops’’ who will have doctors, nurses and counsellors to advise and support you, or check in with your doctor about what resources are available locally to you. ❚ Cathy Stephenson is a GP and a medical forensic examiner.