Bitter Bill and the day our next leader lost the plot
He was also up against a firstterm monster in Helen Clark. He lacked charisma, charm, experience – and he was angry. Real angry.
A few of us journos started calling him Bitter Bill. It stuck. It was a Saturday and it was a National Party conference. I’m struggling to recall the story. But it may have been a report about English’s struggling leadership and his increasingly impatient MPs.
Next minute our weekend producer at 3 News, Rennie Barrett, rang me to say he’d just fielded a furious phone call from a raging Bill English.
What the f... did he say, I asked, as my muscles tensed, as they do when you go toe-to-toe with a politician.
Rennie said English was screaming down the phone calling me a ‘f ..... fat f... who was making shit up about his leadership and the roaring Bill continued until the phone was slammed down. End of said fit. There was lots of yelling and swearing. Clearly.
But that was Bitter Bill. It was a bad time. I wasn’t the only one to face the wrath of Bitter Bill. He wasn’t ready. National was truly an unhappy ship. Many MPs didn’t believe in English and he inherited a dreadful and cumbersome party structure without money.
English actually changed that. And set the party up for future victories. He was then unceremoniously dumped by voters and his party. Brutal game. Worst ever election result: 20.93 per cent. But Don McKinnon in his own misguided pitch for the leadership once said it’s a marathon and watch the long-distance runner. And Bill is National’s Rod Dixon; poised on Monday to win the biggest race of all. But this time English needs just 30-plus caucus votes – not one million people – to land the job he’s coveted for more than 30 years.
He was told he’d be a National Party prime minister – it’s about to come true. On service alone he deserves it. He’s been nothing but loyal to John Key. He’s been the brains and policy wonk behind the marketing dream.
He cares about social issues, the causes of crime, education and the hard work he’s done won’t see results for a decade. But I respect his thinking.
He’s at peace with his role. Yes, he’s boring and dull and he’ll likely put you to sleep unless he rings in a fit of rage.
But he’s also moved on. He’s a different man. He has fireside chats with journos now about the economy and social issues. The anger has gone.
He needs a decent running mate. It’s most likely to be Auckland MP Paula Bennett. It needs to be. He needs someone different. Simon Bridges is not that person. He’s too similar.
After a brief flirtation with a leadership challenge, the National caucus settled down and did what Key told them to do. The small kitchen Cabinet of five stitched this up to lock out Judith Collins, who simply isn’t trusted any more.
And Jonathan Coleman’s ambition outstripped his political talent. Another day. Maybe.
Bennett will make a good deputy to English and Steven Joyce can be finance minister. Then Key can walk away relaxed and comfortable. An extraordinarily popular PM who just threw in the towel and threw his party under the bus. I still think the biggest disappointment is that he didn’t do more with his vast political capital. Maybe that’s why he was so popular. Did nothing. And we’re a bloody apathetic bunch.
I hope English does something now. Merely maintaining the status quo will see him get spanked by voters for the second time.
Bitter Bill has waited 26 years for this; but he’s the nightwatchman, the caretaker prime minister who once again may fall victim to timing. Timing is everything.
English versus Andrew Little. It’s all a bit underwhelming, isn’t it? At least we’ve found that cure for insomnia.