What your boss doesn’t want to hear
In any workplace there are a few things best left unsaid, such as that you’re bored or hungover.
You can’t always be walking on eggshells when you talk to your manager. That being said, there are certain conversational landmines to steer clear of.
Here, managers and career experts help with 11 phrases that are best to avoid in conversations with your boss.
‘‘That can’t be done’’
‘‘Hands down, my No. 1 pet peeve phrase is: ‘We can’t do that,’ or ‘That can’t be done,’’’ says Pete Lamson, chief executive of recruiting software service JazzHR. ‘‘As an organisation, we can accomplish whatever we put our minds and effort toward.’’
Dan Veltri, co-founder of website creation platform Weebly, says it’s better to demonstrate a ‘‘solution-first mindset’’ to your boss. ‘‘Often, when you take on the mindset that something is possible, and truly think about the ways to accomplish it, then the solution becomes clear. The result is then a creative solution to a complicated problem, which is the key to continued innovation.’’
‘‘We always do it this way’’
Jim Whitehurst, chief executive of software company Red Hat, says that he wants his employees to engage in open dialogue. Still, this phrase is one thing he really doesn’t like to hear. ‘‘The phrase stands in stark contrast to core Red Hat values of accountability, transparency, and community and the collaborative and open culture we aim to foster.’’
‘‘If I don’t get a raise, I’ll quit’’
‘‘It’s unacceptable to threaten your employer even though you may feel like, ‘Well, I’ll show them,’’’ says Monster career expert Vicki Salemi. ‘‘It sounds a little bit bratty. And technically, it may backfire. Your boss may think, ‘OK, there’s the door.’’’
‘‘I’m quitting as I’m unhappy’’
‘‘A manager never wants to hear their direct report state, ‘I have decided to take another job. I have been unhappy with my role for months and did not see a future for myself. I didn’t want to bring up my dissatisfaction with you,’’’ says Jaqueline Breslin, director of human capital services for HR firm TriNet. ‘‘Not giving the manager the opportunity to correct the problem or assist the employee with finding a new role within the organisation is incredibly difficult.’’
Paul McDonald, senior executive director at staffing agency Robert Half, agrees that it’s important to give your boss a chance to make things right before you quit.
‘‘Often, the first time a manager knows the employee is unhappy is when he or she resigns,’’ he says. ‘‘By then it’s too late to do anything about it. In these cases, most managers wish the employee had approached them sooner.’’
‘‘I’m so hungover’’
‘‘Even if you have a close relationship with your boss, they’re still your supervisor and you still need to be professional,’’ Salemi says. ‘‘Even if you’re lagging and not as quick on the uptake, you don’t need to state an excuse. Or if you feel like you do, just say you’re feeling sluggish. No need to get into details.’’
‘‘What should I do?’’
David Olk, chief executive of professional development platform Voray, says: ‘‘The problem with this question is that inspires decision fatigue, which is increasingly an issue as you move up the managerial hierarchy.
‘‘It also shows limited ownership. Instead, this question should be replaced with ‘Here’s what I think we should do about this – what do you think?’ Give me solutions, not problems.’’
‘‘I’m bored’’
‘‘A manager may equate ‘bored’ with unproductive and uninspired – sending up a warning flag that you’re dragging morale down for the whole team,’’ McDonald says. ‘‘If you want a fresh challenge say so – and be positive and proactive in your communication. Volunteer to take on a new project or suggest an improvement that would grow business or drive efficiencies. Offer to train a newer employee on the tasks you’ve mastered. Saying you’re bored can come across as unprofessional – and puts the problem on your boss’ plate to solve.’’
‘‘I won’t work with him/her’’
‘‘Personal conflict is a reality in every workplace, but it’s unacceptable to tell your boss that you cannot work with someone in the organisation without having worked very hard at trying to resolve the conflict first,’’ Heide Abelli, vice-president of business skills and leadership at cloudbased learning site Skillsoft says.
If you’re having a serious issue with harassment, go to HR. But if it’s merely a matter of not liking your co-worker, don’t rely on your boss to play referee.
‘‘Are you giving an ultimatum that ‘It’s that person or me?’ If you do that, you put yourself in danger of being out of a job,’’ says Andy Bailey, of business coaching firm Petra Coach. ‘‘Instead, employees should make this an opportunity for communication … You can work with almost anybody if you learn to communicate effectively.’’
‘‘That’s not my job’’
‘‘Even when it’s not your job, bosses don’t want to hear it stated that bluntly,’’ Salemi says. ‘‘You may be overworked and trying to establish boundaries as more and more work gets dropped on your desk, but it’s still unacceptable from a management perspective.’’
Fingerpaint Marketing founder Ed Mitzen says: ‘‘We need team players that will do what is needed for the greater good of the company. And great leaders will lead by example. If you see us delivering a package to someone’s office or cleaning up the break room, expect us to react poorly if we see employees complaining about being asked to do the same.’’ ❚ This story was first published at BusinessInsider.com.au.