Shocked brothers reunited after 35 years
Brothers Ben and Joseph Oakes both believed one another were dead.
They had lost touch after their mother’s funeral in 1982 and hadn’t seen each other in the 35 years since.
‘‘He disappeared into the mists of time,’’ centenarian Ben said of his younger brother.
‘‘I wasn’t sure if he was alive or dead.’’
But one night when Joseph was watching television and eating dinner with his wife in Auckland, he saw a ghost.
The 82-year-old was watching a story about author Renee Hollis who was travelling the country interviewing centenarians for a new book.
A face and a name appeared on the screen. It said the person being interviewed was Ben Oakes, age 100.
‘‘I went, brother’.
‘‘We were in shock because as far as I knew he had died.’’
Joseph’s friend tracked down Hollis to get a phone number for Ben, who was living at Ernest Rutherford Retirement Village in Nelson.
During that phone call, the first contact in 35 years, Joseph said he ‘‘couldn’t believe’’ he was speaking to his brother.
‘‘He said to me, ‘Who are you?’ I said, ‘Joe, I’m your little brother’. It was just absolutely fantastic because he sounds the same.’’
The brothers arranged to meet and, this week, Joseph flew down to Nelson with his wife and their two children.
They spent several days catching up on the lost years.
‘‘Gosh, there weren’t enough ‘Hey, that’s my hours in the day. When we went back there we talked and talked about everything,’’ Joseph said.
‘‘We have the chance now to reconnect with everything.’’
Ben said he was ‘‘absolutely gobsmacked’’ to see his brother again.
‘‘I didn’t know he was still alive,’’ he said.
‘‘He didn’t expect to ever see me again and the reverse. When I saw him I didn’t believe it was him. Of course, he’s 83, age has changed his physique quite a bit. It took me a wee while,’’ Ben said.
‘‘I’m astounded beyond belief. I never knew it was possible for me.’’
Joseph said he and Ben were close when they were younger, despite the 18-year age difference.
Ben served in the New Zealand Army during World War II and spent many years in the Middle East.
Joseph said he remembered when Ben returned home to Christchurch. Joseph was a nineyear-old schoolboy and Ben came to pick him up from school.
He said Ben took him to the gym and taught him to lift weights and wrestle.
‘‘He was my hero,’’ he said. ‘‘I sort of lived my life by his code.’’
When Joseph was of age, he joined the New Zealand Navy and spent many years aboard, mostly in the United States.
He said he lived on a boat and married a Filipino woman before settling in Auckland.
Joseph said that Ben ‘‘disappeared’’ following their mother’s funeral.
‘‘He was pretty cut up. We sort of lost track of him.’’
Ben said that most of his relatives had passed away and he assumed Joseph had, too.
He said he had become desensitised during the time he spent in the military, but reconnecting with his brother had brought him happiness.
‘‘I was over the moon.’’
The brothers intend to keep in regular contact and Joseph said he hoped to visit for Ben’s 101st birthday on July 21.