The Press

Lay off the boy racers, who don’t even exist


I’m here to break some news. It’ll come as a shock to some of you but like the point when you sit a kid down to have a chat about Santa, I think it’s time you grey-hairs come sit on my knee so I can tell you something.

Boy racers don’t exist. In the same way that the bogyman is made up to scare children, boy racers are fictional characters made up to scare old people.

The people who consider cars anything more than something to sit in while waiting to get to and from work are a diverse bunch composed of a range of ages, genders, ethnicitie­s and socioecono­mic situations. And exactly zero of them self-identify as boy racers.

This week the Christchur­ch City Council sought feedback on its latest money pit of a proposal: The prohibitio­n of vehicles weighing under 3500 kilograms using about 18 kilometres of the Summit Rd between Rapaki and Gebbies Pass roads from 10pm to 5am on Thursdays through to Monday morning and on public holidays.

Just to riff with a few excellent ‘‘what if’’ situations, does this mean that 35 fat people squashed into a Supra and driving like maniacs will be fine while some nerd in a Prius, out for a look at the stars, will be a crim?

The CCC should count itself lucky that boy racers don’t have an industry lobby group like bar owners do with the Hospitalit­y Associatio­n of New Zealand, or I suspect the bylaw would fast go the way that the Local Alcohol Policy did. Remember how the thing unravelled once a few decent legal minds started picking at the stitching?

Can’t some rich guy with a penchant for trouble-making pay a few good legal minds to have a look at this whole cruising bylaw and have a crack at proving what a joke it is?

One resident on said stretch of road suggested a locked gate with residents having a key for the padlock.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that a gated community? I’m sure these already exist; they’re where rich people live and Summit Rd residents are free to move into them at any time. They’re just not ratepayer funded.

The Council suggested residents would be fine as would ‘‘bona-fide’’ visitors, which should be another area that’ll be really easy for the poor old cops to enforce.

I suspect that once the residents load their senses of entitlemen­t into their cars for the drive home, they’ll weigh over 3500kg and won’t have to worry about residents’ permits anyway.

In the ‘‘good old days’’ parents were worried about the Bodgies and the inevitable downfall of society that would come with the rise of the teenager. Guess what? The Bodgies and Widgies all grew up into normal, functionin­g adults who do things like vote, pay taxes and now that they’re old – get mad about young people having fun.

I thought we lived in a world now where we sought to move away from slapping labels on groups and calling them bad. Besides aren’t we more gender inclusive than assuming anyone in a modified car has a penis? What about the vaginas in charge of hopped-up Subarus?

Get a grip people. Boy racer is just another whip-up label that describes almost nobody.

Here’s my suggestion for the road. Leave it alone and fix the potholes.

I’m sure there’s plenty of ratepayer money that can be burned on all manner of other silly ideas.

If you’re going to try and make some change, target something the poor old cops can actually enforce and please stop picking on young people who call cars a hobby.

 ?? PHOTO: DEAN KOZANIC/STUFF ?? Signs of burnouts on Summit Rd.
PHOTO: DEAN KOZANIC/STUFF Signs of burnouts on Summit Rd.
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