Those weird Kiwis: Tryless losers who didn’t try

The Kiwis were tryless in their humiliating World Cup defeat against Fiji, Yeah, tryless sounds about the right word. Fans can accept losing, but they get mad when their heroes don’t look as if they are bothered.

And the least bothered of all was the captain. Just what was with Adam Blair? His performance is one of the weirdest things I have seen in sport. In the first 10 minutes of the match Blair threw an atrocious pass, lost possession and was smashed in a tackle.

Talk about leading from the back. And then Blair started missing tackles. Not just a few, but one after another in the second half. Eventually he was hooked for the final 10 minutes, when the Kiwis desperately needed their captain to lead them over the line.

Blair sauntered over for the after match interview, dressed in a black caterpillar coat and chewing gum. Was he about to burst into song and lead a mod revival. Well, no, it was weirder than that. The game itself was like watching one of those multi-coloured wheels going round and round, inducing brain fade and leaving you washed up on some psychedelic beach. But the interview was way more phantasmagoric.

Blair said, among other things: ‘‘[The strategy was] just to be us ... We turned up ... it was a great game to watch ... It’s great for the game ... great to see the likes of Fiji and Tonga turn up and perform. It’s not a negative for us.’’

Whoa, was the captain mixing energy drinks and sleeping pills? He certainly seemed off his head. Former coach Brian McClennan called the interview ‘‘bizarre.’’ He was almost in tears. And we all expected Blair to be feeling the same pain. Maybe his body had been invaded by mendacious former British prime ministers of the same name.

At least Simon Mannering sounded like he cared. He said, ‘‘They played with a lot more passion. They tackled harder and ran harder and that’s what makes it disappointing.’’

Not so long ago the Kiwis were beating up Australia three times in a row. I remember mocking the Aussies and asking is that all you’ve got? Jesse Bromwich, Ben Matulino, Tohu Harris, Kevin

Proctor, Martin Taupau and Sam Moa broke the Aussies apart.

But where were the hits on Saturday night?

Financially this World Cup could be a catastrophe for the future of league in this country. At the moment the income from Kiwi

home matches underpins the game. But how are we going to get any more home games now and who is going to sponsor them?

There is a window next season during the State of Origin series. A match against Tonga could be a money-spinner. At least the Tongan fans would turn up. But we need the NRL and ARL to be prepared to both release the players and pay them.

That’s the catch. New Zealand Rugby League cannot afford to pay its own players. It gets a subsidy from Sport New Zealand, but that may be threatened. And it makes a small contribution itself. But the ARL props up the rest of the wage bill. Rugby league in this country is a charity case. And why should the Aussies subsidise us? They paid us to beat them in 2014-15.

That may go some way to explaining why Harris, Matulino and Kieran Foran were all unavailable for this World Cup due to injury. They were all right to play for their clubs during the season, but now need to rest and recover. Harris even played a starring role in the grand final.

But we can’t complain. The last few years have seen pills and energy drinks at the 2013 World Cup, Russell Packer in jail for assault, Shaun Kenny-Dowall accused of hitting his girlfriend and then arrested on a drugs charge, Proctor and Bromwich stood down for drink and drugs, the Warriors on a pharmaceutical night out, Manu Vatuvei losing it, SBW stitching up Tohu Harris, Foran associated with dark gamblers and the mass defection to Tonga ahead of the current Cup.

You don’t need reality TV when you have New Zealand rugby league. The Kardashians are desperate to be a part of it, but the NZRL can’t afford terms. It’s doubtful they can even find the money to bring in a decent coach like Des Hasler or Craig Bellamy.

It’s hard to credit that David Kidwell has not resigned after successive defeats to Tonga and Fiji but, according to Blair, ‘‘We’re going to build something here.’’’

We’re back on that spinning coloured wheel again. And through the hurdy gurdy music comes Kidwell’s voice saying, ‘‘We’re going to play a different style, a Kiwi style of football for this World Cup.’’

What style is that, then. Losing? I’m sorry, but Kiwis are not a bunch of losers. There’s still one hell of a squad out there, especially when Bromwich and Proctor return. I know this sounds daft, but maybe Sonny Bill could come back and co-captain the boys with Simon Mannering. At least there would be some mana. And that’s a foundation you could build on.