Show your age in all its glory
Nobody wins when society celebrates mature women who don’t look like they’ve aged at all, writes
A grey-haired woman with an ageing body who displays overt sexuality is a danger to the systemic oppression of all women.
Jane Gilmore.
Michelle Pfeiffer has a new movie out and her appearance on the red carpet inspired a swathe of praise for how good she looks. ‘‘…at 59, she’s hotter than ever’’ from The Sun.
‘‘Barely aged a day’’, says Vogue. The Telegraph devoted an entire article to speculation about the surgery and ‘‘tweaks’’ that may explain why she ‘‘looks so good right now’’.
The tone is congratulatory surprise. Imagine, a 59-year-old woman looking good! She’s the epitome of ‘‘successful’’ ageing, by which of course we mean that she doesn’t look like she’s aged at all.
Eternal youth has long been a human obsession but never before have we had access to so many options that can give us the appearance, if not the fact, of enduring youthfulness.
The danger in this, particularly for women, is that it makes the ageing process appear to be something we can choose to avoid, not something inevitable or desirable. Any sign of ‘unsuccessful’ ageing is perceived as personal failure rather than natural changes we should celebrate as a sign of ongoing achievement.
Pfeiffer is one of the most genetically blessed women in the world. It’s not surprising that a woman who so perfectly fitted modern beauty standards in her youth continues to do so as she ages. Her success in an industry that values youth and beauty in women above all else has given her the means and impetus to pursue anti-ageing techniques not available to the vast majority of women.
Such things go beyond cosmetic surgery. Daily access to the best-quality food, the services of dentists, hairdressers, dieticians and personal trainers, as well as overpriced cosmetics and custom-made clothes all contribute to the ability of wealthy women to defeat the visible signs of ageing.
And the media’s glorification of the results of all this work identifies it as success. The corollary of this is that women who can’t afford such things or refuse to do so have failed. They ‘‘let themselves go’’.
The prejudice against ageing is not confined to judgments of physical appearance. Ageism affects people’s ability to succeed professionally, and again, this impacts women more than men.
A UK study found that age discrimination exists at ‘‘alarming levels’’ in recruitment agencies. The results were strongest in blue-collar jobs and for women across all professions. The study described a ‘‘distaste’’ for older workers and antidiscrimination policies had no effect on eliminating it.
Youth has many benefits. Energy, strength, vigour and passion are all admirable and highly useful professionally. But the wisdom and experience of older people is a necessary balancing factor. That so much of this is undervalued because the focus is on how women look rather than what they can do is something that should concern women of all ages.
Going against the status quo
Older women who insist on visibility may be, and often are, acting on personal desires, but individual actions always have social consequences. A greyhaired woman, with lines on her face and an ageing body, who displays overt sexuality or passionate ambition is not just an aberration, she is a danger to the systemic oppression of all women. As such she will be punished by the expressions of power that demand an unchanging status quo.
It is as much a feminist act for young women to support and celebrate the older women who break away from their assigned roles as it is for young feminists to fight against the celebration of purity and demonisation of female sexuality.
The invisibility of older women is a tool of the patriarchy. And it’s far too easy for women to allow ourselves to accept the divisions imposed upon us. Young women who think older feminists have no place in or understanding of the frontlines of feminism are allying themselves with patriarchal notions of womanhood. They are accepting the belief that ageing women have no ability to lead or give strength and passion to the fight.
Equally, when older women think youth has no wisdom, and beauty or sexuality is something denied them and therefore threatening, when we see it as a reminder of a painful loss, we are allowing segregation of the sisterhood that should support us.
Finding unity
Feminism, at its core, is the fight for liberation from male violence and female poverty. The separation of women into archetypal groups and the exclusion of women who don’t or won’t accept their assigned dehumanisation is simply an expression of the power structures designed to vindicate male violence and perpetuate female poverty.
Merely existing in the world as a woman of colour, a disabled woman, a sexual woman, a trans woman or an older woman is a political act. Women who dare to, or have to demand visibility in one or more of those acts face the inevitable rage of a world built on the entrenched disavowal of their existence.
It’s a cliche´ , but none the less true for being so, that which unites us is far greater than that which divides us. We can find unity in giving visibility to the aspects of womanhood we are told should be invisible. And there is power in recognising the visibility of ageing women, if only because we are told that we shouldn’t. – Sydney Morning Herald