Bald is Beautiful or Kiss a Ginger: 2018’s silly days
Well, that’s it. Christmas is over and we are a day away from New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. I’m quite keen to start a shiny fresh new year but if you are one of those people who enjoy the pomp and circumstance of traditional holidays and observances, I’ve picked a few more official and notso-official dates for you to celebrate in 2018.
First up is Kiss a Ginger day on January 12. This may be a busy day for me as I am a ginger, albeit one who pays a hairdresser to make this so. But if the Harvey Weinstein revelations have taught us anything, please make sure your kisses are welcome.
The following month we have Singles Awareness Day, also known as Singles Appreciation Day either way, it’s still SAD. This is on February 15, the day after Valentines Day. SAD sounds a lot less stressful than Christmas and should also be a day where the singles among us can make our coupled up friends feel bad by asking passive aggressive questions such as, ‘‘What’s a lovely person like you doing with a partner?’’.
Also included in February is Thumb Appreciation Day on the 18th. I have no idea what this is for but I suppose sending a text would be a good way to commemorate it.
March 8 is International Women’s Day. International Women’s Day is mainly about sighing before replying to men that, yes, there is an International Men’s Day and it falls on November 19.
Of course, we’ll all wake up and start tricking people left, right and centre on April 1 but April Fools Day is nowhere near the most important day of the month. That falls to April 28 when Hairball Awareness Day rolls around.
As the owner of three cats, I am circling that one on the calendar and planning a party where me, PussPuss, Dame Judi and Bertie will hack up a few furry lumps on the hallway carpet. Perhaps we will follow this by a drink of delicious pet milk and half an hour each with the Furminator. There is a chance your cat will already be aware of Hairball Awareness Day because January 22 is Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day and they may have already enquired.
Then it’s on to May 9, otherwise known as National Lost Sock Memorial Day where we mourn the loss of an average of one sock per machine wash. Lest we forget the fallen.
I am looking forward to June 19, World Sauntering Day. The day where humanity is reminded to slow down and enjoy life as opposed to rushing about all the time.
After the relative quiet of sauntering, we reach July, with its exciting National Orgasm Day on July 31. This is a flexible type of day you can enjoy on your own or come together with one or more friends.
The month of August is celebrated as Win with Civility Month. Unfortunately, civility is unlikely to be observed for the entire month, which also includes World Breastfeeding Week, Grab Some Nuts Day and Women’s Equality Day.
On September 13, the bald community join as one to celebrate International Bald is Beautiful Day, and so they should because I’m sure they feel left out on Hairball Awareness Day.
October 4 is International Toot Your Flute Day. I do not know what this is, or who thought it would be a good idea, but I shall not be leaving the house.
November 23 is there for Eat a Cranberry Day, which will ward off any urinary tract infections and lift cranberry growers’ spirits.
And then, of course, it’s December again where we all slide back in to chaos and stress. Please make sure you enjoy these alternative dates in the interim.
‘‘October 4 is International Toot Your Flute Day. I do not know what this is, or who thought it would be a good idea, but I shall not be leaving the house.’’