Are the inmates running the asylum?
I’ve known a few conspiracy theorists over the years. ‘‘Conspiracy Dave’’ sticks in my mind. A local at a pub I ran in Luton, not a day went by without Dave coming in to lecture us on what brainwashed twats we were: ‘‘You’re all slaves.’’
You won’t be tending bar for long before you meet a Conspiracy Dave and find yourself pinned behind the bar while he explains that everything you know is a lie.
‘‘There’s a really good documentary about it on YouTube that you should really watch.’’
Dave was how I like my conspiracy theorists. You know the type. They might as well wander in wearing tinfoil hats, lest we suspect them of being normal members of society.
Now, a few years later, years which feel like they’ve rushed forward at accelerating pace, we live in a world where the bloke running the New World Order has been known to dabble in conspiracy theories.
Anyone noticed that if you swap the language of ‘‘reptilians and Jews’’ for the ‘‘global elite’’ it’s easy to get people whipped up into a frenzy.
One can’t help but wonder if the inmates might be running the asylum.
Nowadays it’s harder to spot your conspiracy theorists. They’re lurking out there amongst us all, normal in appearance and emboldened by the anonymity of the internet.
They don’t wear tinfoil hats. They’re just normal old average Joes. Tapping away in the dark corners of the internet about how 9/11 was an inside job and the World Trade Centers were a controlled demolition.
At least conspiracy theorists are getting better with their gender balance. Way back when Conspiracy Dave was lecturing me, I had yet to meet a female conspiracy theorist.
All it took was babies getting involved. Now, it seems a bunch of women have signed up to be antivaxxer nutters. So at least we are headed toward gender balance with our fringe thinking.
Nothing is too far out these days. The earth is flat. Trump’s hair is a parasitic alien. The Las Vegas shooter had assistance…
Whatever happened to good old-fashioned conspiracy theories and the theorists who espoused them? The moon, the Illuminati, JFK, reptilians and Roswell – that’s where I like my conspiracy theorists.
I suppose they went the way of MySpace and cash and bubbled back under the surface with the last century.
What is it that makes us susceptible to conspiracy theories? We’re just advanced monkeys and things like pattern recognition play a huge part in how we go about our lives. But is the way we’re wired too primitive for modern living?
I wonder if it’s the same part of the human brain that makes us susceptible to other made up things like religion or human rights that makes us take up these kooky ideas and run with them?
Like the Gutenberg press spread the contagion of Christianity, so too will the internet spread the gospel of the trolls.
Is there a part of our in-built computers that believes what we are told? Is acceptance of information easier than a healthy cynicism, which has to be learned?
I don’t know what became of Conspiracy Dave. He was just one of many Daves that I’ve had a barman/boozer relationship with.
I like to think that maybe the aliens beamed him up and anally probed him, thus confirming his suspicions. But in reality he probably just developed cirrhosis of the liver and died.
I’m just wondering at what point ‘‘fringe thinking’’ just became ‘‘thinking’’ and at what point this world will go totally and utterly mad? And once we’re nuts will we even know it?
Tuatara or alien reptilian overlord?
Harmless prank or messages from the universe?