More ideological claptrap from those snowflake scientists

Eleven thousand scientists from 153 nations have this week warned that unless wide-reaching changes are urgently made the world risks ‘‘untold suffering from the climate crisis’’ in another example of the one-sided ideological claptrap we’re all getting sick and tired of, talkback radio and social media sources are reporting.

‘‘The climate crisis has arrived and is accelerating faster than most scientists expected. It is more severe than anticipated, threatening natural ecosystems and the fate of humanity’’ said a statement in the journal Bioscience by the scientists who, according to local opinion-shapers and dogwhistlers, probably drive petrolburning cars and use products made from oil-based materials and if that’s not hypocritical, what is?

The so-called experts with their so-called facts went on to state that ‘‘climate chain reactions could cause significant disruptions to ecosystems, society, and economies, potentially making large areas of Earth uninhabitable’’ in the sort of doomsday scaremongering that common sense folk remember back in the days of the ozone hole crisis.

‘‘And we didn’t seem to die from the ozone hole crisis, did we? No we didn’t,’’ said a self-appointed representative of the common folk. ‘‘What happened to that co-called ‘crisis’?

‘‘Well okay, admittedly we changed our behaviour and signed the Montreal Protocol and banned CFCs and halons, sure, but apart from that the point still stands.’’ Local chin-strokers and wise-oldhead commentators who have seen this sort of panicky hand-wringing from snowflake academics before stated that while the 11.000 scientists sounded pretty cocksure of themselves, climate change was a complex issue and it was still difficult to determine conclusively what the truth about it was. After all, there was so much conflicting evidence out there.

They sagely noted that other respected sources, such as the hosts of Fox and Friends, the comments section of The Mail Online and a man at the pub who had seen some very interesting videos on YouTube had all reported dramatically different conclusions about the likely effects of climate change.

The 11,000 scientists have pleaded that urgent action is needed to curb population growth, cut meat consumption, keep fossil fuels in the ground and stop the destruction of forests, which according to mouthy microphonemonopolisers and clickbaitgenerators is the sort of thing you’d expect from a bunch of gullible dogooders with their snouts in the trough of the global climate change gravy train.

Meanwhile right-thinking New Zealanders living in the real world and not some ivory tower have been urged not to over-react to the latest flurry of unproven allegations. Instead right-thinking Kiwis should be concentrating their air-time, column inches and Facebook-posting on fighting the clear and present evils that bedevil our nation.

Like those cycle lanes. For the sake of our children’s future on this planet and our grandchildren’s too can we please, all of us, stand up and put a stop to those cycle lanes.

‘‘And we didn’t seem to die from the ozone hole crisis, did we? No we didn’t.’’