Mum knows this grief
Waiting, not knowing maybe still hoping. Joe Hall lost her son, Daniel Herk, in the Pike River mine disaster in 2010. Through reporter Joanne Carroll, she recalls the pain of waiting for a recovery operation and having her personal tragedy become international news.
Ifeel for the families of White Island. It brings back tragedy. In my mind, I can’t help thinking about the 29 men who went to work that day [at Pike River] expecting to come home at tea time.
The two guides on White Island are the same. They went to work expecting to come home safe to their families.
For the people on holiday, it is still terrible. They were overseas, seeing the world, on the trip of a lifetime. It’s absolutely terrible now their families are waiting, not knowing – maybe still hoping.
For weeks we thought some bodies would come out, but they never did.
Having our men’s bodies back would help the grieving. We will never know how they died. It’s the wondering forever if they could have survived that first explosion. It’s so painful. Not knowing how they died, not seeing them again is terrible.
I lost two of my other sons to drink drivers and I had their bodies straight away. I was able to say goodbye. I got to hold their hands, kiss their foreheads. I had that opportunity. In my grieving, that was a huge thing.
We still to this day don’t know why the recovery was stopped. It was really hurtful. There was anger, frustration, grief. I was just numb.
We had all the news media outside. I could see other families and the pain on their faces. I’m sure I looked the same.
Having our grief on the news, sharing our grief with the world was unbelievable. It was good to know the world cared, but it was like becoming famous for something we didn’t want to be famous for. We were unprepared for the world media, and nothing could have prepared us for that.
People come up to you in the street and give you a hug. They are trying to be nice but you don’t know who they are. It was hard being in the public eye.
Having the other 29 families did help. We knew exactly what each other was going through. We came together as a big family and even though we might have our differences, you love your family. That got me through.
It’s hard to find a positive in grief, but you will find one. My positive in Dan’s death was that he had two beautiful children and I can hold on to them.