More abuse in justice fight
‘‘I felt terrible. I would vomit and cry and often beg them not to do it again.’’
Joan Bellingham ECT abuse survivor
A woman who was repeatedly subjected to electroconvulsive therapy in Christchurch for her sexuality says her struggle for redress was almost as bad as the abuse itself.
Survivors of abuse in state care are giving evidence at a public hearing before the royal commission in Auckland about their struggles to get recognition of their experiences with government departments.
Joan Bellingham told the commission yesterday that in the 1970s she was a student nurse at Burwood Hospital.
Sexuality was not often discussed in 1970s Christchurch but Bellingham was always open about being homosexual.
‘‘I was told that I needed treatment and was taken to Princess Margaret Hospital that same day … There was no choice in the matter.’’
Bellingham would spend the next 12 years in and out of hospital. She never completed her nurse training.
Her stays in hospital sometimes lasted months. Afterwards she would return to her parents’ home.
‘‘I became so used to the hospital it became a part of me ... By the end of my time as a patient, I had become institutionalised.’’
She was heavily medicated, ‘‘like a walking zombie’’, and underwent electroconvulsive therapy more than 200 times.
‘‘It felt like razor blades going through my body.
‘‘Every time after the shock therapy I felt faint, dizzy and vomited. I felt terrible. I would vomit and cry and often beg them not to do it again.’’
The ECT would sometimes leave her blind and she had to ring a bell in her locked room if she needed to go to the bathroom.
‘‘I felt so humiliated. It felt like I had no reason to live. I hated myself.’’
The ECT left her with weeping sores on her scalp that can still be seen by hairdressers more than 40 years later.
Bellingham said the drugs have had a huge effect on her memory, and she remembers nothing from her twenties.
Bellingham tried to take legal action in 2005 but the case didn’t progress because of the time that had passed.
Her local MP Jim Anderton wrote letters on her behalf in 2010 to the then-attorney general Chris Finlayson, and health minister Jonathan Coleman, but there was never a meaningful response, she said.
‘‘The uncertainty associated with seeking redress was almost as bad as the original abuse. My hope is that no one has to go through what I went through.’’
She approached ACC for compensation in the 1990s.
‘‘I can remember ACC said they couldn’t believe I had burns to my scalp caused by electrodes. They said that it could have been cigarette burns.’’
Bellingham has never been a smoker.
ACC eventually paid her $11,500 for her burns and ongoing headaches.
In 2012, Bellingham approached the Crown Health Funding Agency for redress and later received an offer of $4000 for a wellness payment and $4250 towards her legal fees.
Despite an apology, there was no admission that authorities had done anything wrong.
Bellingham said the entire process was difficult and uncertain.
‘‘I constantly felt like I was battling uphill to get people to recognise me or believe what I was saying actually happened.’’
She asked the commission to advocate for support and resources to be given for those seeking redress from government departments.