Words of caution from a former stinky kid

It’s always good when the leaders of our country have a look at public expenditure and make savings where they can. But I have some words of caution for those speaking about the school lunch debate at present – know that every word you say will be heard by the very kids who have been eating the lunches you’re discussing.

Your words will impact them. Choose them carefully.

It took me until I was 40 to be able to admit that I had a less than perfect childhood.

You know the kid at school who’s riddled with headlice? That was me. I still remember the public health nurse coming around to my father’s home concerned I had no friends, as no-one would sit next to me on the mat, as I smelt.

In 1996, a time I didn’t smell any more but was living with an alcoholic stepfather, Roger Douglas came to my high school.

He was excited.

He was launching a new political party – one that would mean our parents paid less tax.

They’d have to pay for our schooling and our healthcare but that would be OK as they would pay next to no tax.

I was terrified.

I worried that if this new party came into power, the money for my schooling would not be kept aside. It would disappear, like the rest of our family’s income, into the litres of spirits that my stepfather poured down his throat every night.

School was my happy place. I was academically competitive and determined that my future would not be the same as my childhood.

The thought of not being able to attend school really upset me.

I put up my hand and asked Mr Douglas, “but what happens if your parents don’t pay the school fees?”.

“But they will,” he said. “They won’t have to pay tax so they’ll have money to pay for your school fees.”

I wasn’t about to tell Mr Douglas why the money for my schooling would not be kept aside, and I wasn’t about to give up.

“But what if they don’t?” I asked.

A to and fro eventuated, to the point the girls in the seats around me intervened and said, “but Jo you don’t understand – they won’t have to pay tax so they will be able to pay for school”.

I wanted to scream, “no, you don’t understand ... “but the shame of admitting the reality of what I lived with at home meant I stayed quiet.

That’s my worry now. Some of the children who have been enjoying those school lunches won’t get fed otherwise.

It’s great the Government has found a way to keep them funded.

But all this talk of “woke sushi” along with all these social media comments espousing “my kids get sandwiches and they’re fine with it” and “it’s a parent’s job to feed their kids” are completely unnecessary.

I wonder how a little girl with sushi in her lunchbox felt today. I wonder how many classmates teased her about her woke lunch.

I know exactly how many kids will have felt at being reminded that their parents are not doing a great job – ashamed.

Because, for a child it is embarrassing when you have less than perfect parents. It is shameful and hurtful.

Some will have even convinced themselves that it’s their fault and that if they were a better person their parents would look after them.

So to those kids I say this. This is not your fault. There are many good parents who can’t afford to feed their kids. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Most of all, know that your current state does not have to be your future. If you study and work hard there’s a real chance the childhood you’re able to give your children will be very different from your own.

... to those kids I say this. This is not your fault. There are many good parents who can’t afford to feed their kids.

Jo Scott is an Ōtautahi-based communications consultant and former journalist.