Mike King urges Kiwis to open up
A New Zealand comedian who has battled depression has urged the ‘‘staunchest’’ adults to lead the way in the battle against suicide.
Mike King’s comments come in the wake of two suspected suicides by Southland teenagers in recent weeks.
Catherine Hanson-Friend, the mother of one of those teens, speaks about her son’s tragic death on page 3 of today’s edition. She reveals Patrick’s struggles with his schooling, his bubbly personality and ability to get on with people in all walks of life.
No subject was taboo in the HansonFriend family, with the parents and two children open and frank with each other about their feelings and thoughts, she said
Mental health experts agree they took the right approach, with many suicide victims instead choosing to suppress their feelings.
However, suicide has no boundaries and some outcomes cannot be predicted.
King said statistics showed the majority of people with depression would not ask for help because of the stigma attached to the subject and because they believed they would be judged.
People needed to ask themselves why their loved ones were not opening up to them, he said.
‘‘The answer is we [often] aren’t giving them a reason to. If the staunchest people in society open up about their feelings, it will show the vulnerable people in society that it’s OK.’’
Holding onto thoughts and trying to battle through depressive thoughts was the biggest killer, King said.
Adults needed to start leading with their actions instead of just demanding others open up, he said.
‘‘If you want someone to open up and talk, you have to open up and talk about your problems. Show people you are a safe person to talk to. If we all start talking to people about our problems it gives permission for other people to do the same.’’
The Government threw lots of money into fighting mental illness but it cost nothing for people to express their feelings to others, he said.
Dr Shyamala Nada-Raja, senior research fellow at the University of Otago, said suicide was a complex problem and there was no simple solution to preventing it.
Everyone needed to work together to prevent suicide, which at a fundamental level meant having compassionate and caring communities supporting one another and instilling a sense of hope. The Mental Health Foundation’s free resource and information service (09 623 4812) will refer callers to some of the helplines below:
Lifeline (open 24/7) – 0800 543 354 Depression Helpline (open 24/7) – 0800 111 757 Healthline (open 24/7) – 0800 611 116 Samaritans (open 24/7) – 0800 726 666 Suicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Youthline (open 24/7) – 0800 376 633. You can also text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz
0800 WHATSUP children’s helpline – phone 0800 9428 787 between 1pm and 10pm on weekdays and from 3pm to 10pm on weekends. Online chat is available from 7pm to 10pm every day at www.whatsup.co.nz.
Kidsline (open 24/7) – 0800 543 754. This service is for children aged 5 to 18. Those who ring between 4pm and 9pm on weekdays will speak to a Kidsline buddy. These are specially trained teenage telephone counsellors.
Your local Rural Support Trust – 0800 787 254 (0800 RURAL HELP)
Alcohol Drug Helpline (open 24/7) – 0800 787 797. You can also text 8691 for free.
When people felt low they did not always feel in a position to reach out for help, so family, friends and work colleagues could play a vital role by communicating with them and offering their support, Nada-Raja said.