More bromance than rivalry
One of the most entertaining aspects of Britain’s Got Talent is the lead judge Simon Cowell’s long-running bromance with fellow panellist, comedian David Walliams.
Cowell, a 57-year-old impresario who has cornered the market in TV talent shows on both sides of the Atlantic, laughs about his onscreen relationship with Walliams.
‘‘I’ve just got to the point now, genuinely, where it’s like having your auntie’s dog, who’s getting on a bit, around you.
‘‘You go round for tea and the dog starts humping your leg. The first couple of years it’s like, ‘Can you please not hump my leg?’ After the third or fourth, you’re like, ‘Just get it over with’ and that’s kind of how I feel about David right now.’’
Also the brains behind The X Factor, America’s Got Talent and American Idol, Cowell says that on any given day he can never be certain which Walliams will arrive on set.
‘‘I have to say, though, he’s so much fun because he’s so spoilt and needy.
‘‘I really do like him. He makes me laugh. He’s so annoying at times but it’s more fun than not.’’
As part of the on-going banter between the pair, during the auditions for this season Walliams mounted Cowell’s desk and dropped his trousers in front of him.
So how did Cowell find that memorable experience? ‘‘Thank God I had my eyes shut for that. He did a lap dance on the desk. Thank God I didn’t see it or I would be in therapy right now. That’s David though – it’s what he does.’’
Britain’s Got Talent is now in its 11th series but Cowell’s passion for the programme shows no sign of waning.
‘‘The motivation is that a lot of people who come on my shows, without this showcase, couldn’t get very far or doors would shut in their faces.
‘‘ Britain’s Got Talent is all about championing the public and we welcome anyone.
‘‘There are loads of people - right from year one, like Paul Potts and Susan Boyle - who I genuinely do not feel would have had a shot at a record label without Britain’s Got Talent.‘‘
Then, Cowell adds, ‘‘You find people like Diversity, who we gave a showcase to and they went on to have a fantastic career. So if you ever get tired of finding stars, you have to do something else. I get excited every time I see a glimpse of something or I like the person or the story is good. It’s fantastic.’’
Cowell admits he was delighted that Ant and Dec, the presenters of Britain’s Got Talent, were awarded OBEs this year.
‘‘I’m happy for them, even though the rest of us don’t have one. I’ve worked out that they are something like 77th in line to be the next kings of this country.
‘‘They’ve worked hard for this, so they do deserve it, to be fair. Are they a bit smug about it? If they had tails they would be wagging them all day, every day. They are thrilled. I would be as well.’’
Cowell reveals that Walliams is jealous he hasn’t had an OBE yet.
‘‘He’s furious. He’s gone on an all-out assault this year to suck up to as many people as possible so that he can get there before me – and he probably will.’’
Cowell closes by revealing what happened when he brought his 3-year-old son Eric along to auditions in London this year.
‘‘He does enjoy coming down to auditions. The first time I brought him to Britain’s Got Talent, he thought it was scary because of the big red Xs.
‘‘After a few months I asked, ‘What does Daddy do when he goes to work?’ and he said I pressed buttons – it’s a little more than that. But now he understands the show.’’
So might young Eric end up following in his father’s footsteps?
‘‘I watch him and I’m like, ‘Eric, do you like it? Don’t you like it?’ He’s got a really good eye and ear for it so, yes, he’s going to be doing this one day.
Britain’s Got Talent, TVNZ 1, Saturday. TV Guide