Five signs of emotional manipulation to watch for
Emotional manipulation is a kind of psychological and social influence whereby an individual seeks to change the behaviour or perception of another through the exploitation of emotions. Sounds evil, right?
It seems like it’s the kind of tactic you’d see used in television show or film, and you’d be frustrated with the protagonist for not realising what’s happening.
In reality, spotting emotional manipulation up close can be very difficult. So we’ve put together some warning signs you should watch out for. If any of these sound familiar, someone close to you could be preying upon your emotions.
1. Button-pusher
A clever emotional manipulator knows exactly what triggers you – your weak spots and insecurities are their favourite playthings. This means that they’re happy to use them against you.
A kind person is aware of these insecurities – your weight, your intelligence, your conversational skills – and will make you feel better about them. An emotional manipulator is not a kind person. They’ll do their best to manipulate you with this knowledge by making you feel worse.
2. Silent treatment
By keeping quiet, someone can quickly and effectively manipulate your emotions. Not answering phone calls or texts, ignoring invitations or conversation starters. By doing these things, they are subtly driving you to seek their approval and attention, and then watch as you work harder for it.
3. Undermining your grasp on reality
An emotional manipulator will attack not the reason something that has happened, but the very fact that it occurred at all. They often will deny that an incident occurred, deny they said something they very clearly did, and vice versa. By consistently resorting to this tactic, an emotional manipulator can make you question your own sanity by way of your grip on reality.
4. Playing the victim
A skilled emotional manipulator knows how to turn a situation on its head so that they come off as the victim. They point out reasons that nothing is their fault, and quite often why it is your fault instead. They’ll twist your emotional reactions to make you feel guilty for reacting – if you’re angry at them, then your expectations of them were too high, which is something you are constantly doing. See how it works?
5. One-upmanship
You think you’ve got problems? Try being an emotional manipulator – their life is so much more difficult than yours. So much so that they’ll cut across any complaints you have with their own, much more important and unwieldy problems.
The takeaway – ‘‘you have nothing to complain about because my life is so much harder than yours’’.
- oversixty.com.au