Victim Support volunteer

their tragedy and I am there to support them. I am not going to be any good to them if I am upset.’’

Everybody will respond differently and have different needs – some need to be taken to a couch to sit down, others need help calling family members.

‘‘It’s just being present, empathetic and do whatever they need me to do.’’

She remembers every single person she has helped, and they remember her too.

Wilson often gets hugged out of the blue when she bumps into someone she has helped, even if it was years ago.

She and her family have been on the other side of a tragic door-knock, too. One of Wilson’s four children, Whittney Robertson, was killed by a repeat drink-driver in a car crash in 2009.

‘‘At first it was like white noise. A dreadful shock and hard to take it all in.’’

Everyone in the family reacted differently, she says.

As for Wilson, after her initial anger at learning the driver had not been allowed to drive at the time because of four previous drink-driving convictions, she was able to forgive.

‘‘Nothing was going to change the outcome. I wanted him to get the help he needed to address whatever was going on and make sure it did not happen again.’’

Getting out of bed was a struggle some days, but ‘‘I had three surviving children and I didn’t want to waste all my energy becoming bitter and upset and have them feel like they weren’t important because I was consumed by her death.’’

The loss made Wilson reconsider her priorities and that year she went back to frontline work helping children and their families.

She joined Oranga Tamariki as a social worker and, after a short break, was back volunteering with a deeper understanding of what it felt like to lose a loved one. ‘‘It wasn’t hard afterwards because I seemed to be able to separate my tragedy from their tragedy. I’m going there to support them.’’

In her work at Oranga Tamariki and as a volunteer, Wilson has seen the devastating effects family harm, drug and alcohol issues and trauma can have on the community. But rather than dwelling on the negatives, she focuses on what can be done to help.

‘‘No one agency or person can address these issues alone. It’s going to need a whole community to make a difference, particularly in the lives of young people.’’

At Youth Justice, staff look for underlying issues behind offending behaviours to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

She recalls a couple of young people who had come in for theft. They had had a transient lifestyle involving drugs, alcohol and trauma. They received counselling support and did community work for their offending in a local organisation they had expressed an interest in.

‘‘Initially, they wanted to get their hours done but then they loved it and you could see the rise in their self-esteem.’’

They are still volunteering there today, long after their time was done. "They saw people believed in them and saw they didn’t have to continue with crime – and they didn’t.’’

Wilson is pleased to see youth offending crime rates have dropped over the past few years but she is worried about disproportionate Ma¯ori offending rates.

Listening to iwi and other partners, looking at things from a Ma¯ori world view is key, she says. ‘‘Let’s be creative because if we continue to do what we have always done we’ll continue to get what we’ve always got.’’

Nominations for the 2018 Women of Influence Awards are open. Nominate an influential woman you know at stuff.co.nz/ womenofinfluence