At home in nothing-to-do land
Did you know that there is no place more boring in this actual universe than our home? That’s ours, not yours. Yours is a paradise where kids are free to do, say and act as they please.
In your veritable wee slice of heaven there are no ‘‘rules’’ and everything is extremely fair.
At yours, even mince tastes like KFC. So the legend goes.
School holidays can often be an excellent opportunity for the wee darlings to reiterate this boring status on a daily – sometimes hourly – basis. Especially if, shock, horror, you are going ‘‘nowhere’’ and doing ‘‘nothing’’.
When did boring become the new black? It’s not like there’s nothing to do round here. From where I sit, opportunities for a good time are plentiful. But really, what would I know?
Gone are the days when parents ripped open the curtains, barked ‘‘Turn that off!’’ and children
headed off into the great outdoors. Sometimes us kids would try it on but deep down we knew there was absolutely no point.
Boredom was our problem and ours alone. Only the brave put up a fight twice. After all, only boring people get bored. We just had to get out there and use something akin to our imagination.
Climbing trees, and playing bullrush and scrag aren’t banned here and weren’t back in the day, either. And there are still bikes to ride, and balls to bounce, throw, hit and catch. A bit of lawn to cartwheel on. Magic.
The reasons for this grass-isgreener attitude to what life is like over at your place are varied. But round here in nothing-to-do land they boil down to a steadfast few.
Number one: There is no green ogre telling them that there is plenty to do outside. Who am I to be encouraging this outside-playing business? The cheek of it.
Two: Again. Mum and Dad aren’t there. Therefore the constant reminder of everything they do have at their disposal isn’t nagging along beside them.
Three: Brothers and/or sisters most definitely aren’t around. Apparently, this is critical to an excellent break away from dreary old home. To be honest, I do remember that everything was a tad less boring if you weren’t ‘‘made’’ to do it with your siblings.
Four: At yours, technology is on tap. There are no time limits or sharing rules and they can eliminate zombies in as many different worlds as they please.
Five: Your place, even in its most boring state, is still ‘‘fun’’. Especially outside. The trees are better, and the balls bounce higher. At your place games are invented. Imaginations fuelled. And so the legend rolls on.
Have we perpetuated this increase in boredom with the real world by chucking technology in front of the wee darlings so that we can get some peace and quiet?
I’m unsure. That’s a debate for another day. It has, though, become increasingly clear that no tree can compete with the advent of smartphones and the App Store.
No bike and certainly no sideless trampoline. Unless, of course, it’s all at yours.
Of middling interest
It is interesting to read the debate about the exact centre of New Zealand. People like these fun facts and they can generate a bit of attraction for visitors.
I recall back in the 1990s a group in Invercargill looked at finding the most inland point in the South Island. This turned out to be a small hill with a natural rock bivvy on its top next to the Fraser Dam in the hills above Earnscleugh.
The Havoc television show with Mikey Havoc and Newsboy was even dispatched to go and check it out.
But there was a problem with the New Zealand Geographic Board, which did not seem to have the ability to confirm the location. Even though anyone with a map and a ruler could find it.
Apparently at the time the Geographic Board was not really responsible for geography per se but more into ruling on New Zealand culture matters.
Aaron Nicholson