Southland Monopoly verging on a sellout
Crib dwellers will find this version to be chock-full of southern references, writes Michael Fallow.
If only life were a little more like the Southland Monopoly game, which is due for its official launch at tomorrow’s Santa Parade. Housing shortages? Not on this board. If you’ve got the money and the property, then no worries.
When Southland’s three mayors had a crack at it recently, and one of his rivals landed on Te Anau, Southland mayor Rob Scott pleaded with him to build some houses while he was there. Except, in this resolutely southern version, you’re not building houses. You’re building cribs.
The icons are now all Southland but the dynamics of the game haven’t been tinkered with. There’s still no indication the banker’s making grotesque profits – and rich people can still go to jail. But the Get Out of Jail Free card is now, of course, courtesy of the Invercargill Escape Rooms on Dee St.
The Water Works utility is no more, but that’s not because of the Three Waters reform, as Invercargill mayor Nobby Clark openly suspected. Instead the utilities have become Southport and Invercargill Airport.
There was always going to be a difficulty for the Southland Business Chamber, which came up with the idea of negotiating a Southland version with the manufacturer, Hasbro. Who gets grotty Old Kent Rd status?
Conflict artfully avoided. That first property is now Gore, but that’s not a reflection of value or prestige. Rather, location. The game starts in that heartland town, says the chamber’s project and engagement manager, Joanne O’Connor, then follows the Southern Scenic Route.
So it’s location – not glamour – that sets the properties in place, moving from Gore to the Catlins, Invercargill, Bluff, Stewart Island, then heading up western Southland, Aparima, Tuatapere, the Hump Ridge Track to Te Anau, and finishing – almost – at Milford Sound.
The two blue remaining properties are hotels, with the Langlands in the famous Mayfair position. The Chance cards are replete with references to southern businesses and attractions. Example: ‘‘You’ve performed a gig at the Tussock Country Music Festival. Collect a $10 performance fee from every player.’’
The railway stations are no more. (Feel free to talk among yourselves how fitting that is.) They’re replaced by southern industries – agriculture, manufacturing, food processing and energy.
And the wee silver tokens? Look closely and you’ll find the likes of Stabicraft, the Alliance farm gate, the Invercargill water tower, and the Bluff signpost among them.
The popularity of the southern version has almost overtaken the chamber’s ambitions already. Of the 4000 games ordered, the pre-orders have swallowed up more than three-quarters of them before the official launch at the Invercargill Santa Parade tomorrow.
One thing the classic game is not famous for is promoting family harmony. Chamber chief executive Sheree Carey cannot guarantee the Southland version won’t be tossed angrily from the table, but she’s optimistic it will more reliably foster friendly competition and perhaps some education.
Mind you, she says, ‘‘My husband and I played it for the first time on Saturday night and there were a few arguments.’’
What’s next? Surely a southern version of Cluedo might tantalise. Which Southlander murdered which other Southlanders where, and with what weapons? They might need to get back to us about that.