What to wear to a funeral?

When deciding what to wear to a funeral it is usually best to go conservative.

Nowadays it’s common not to wear black but it’s perfectly ok if you do.

The main overriding ’rule’ is you should dress in a way that shows respect.

That may mean avoiding flashy prints, and glittery fabrics unless requested to do so by the deceased or family.

For example, someone with a fun sense of humour may have specified in his or her funeral plan that they would like everyone to wear green.

Some families specifically ask those attending their loved one’s funeral to wear bright colours, celebrating a colourful life.

In casual loving New Zealand, look around at a ceremony nowadays and there are fewer men in suits, lots of women in bright colours, maybe people in jeans, occasionally in trainers and shorts.

Even at tangi on marae, where mourners traditionally wear black, there are more colourful combinations to be seen.

In general though, the etiquette for funeral attire is the same for both men and women: business-type attire that is respectful and conservative.

However, a memorial service at a beach will be more casual than a service at a place of worship.

And it is perfectly appropriate to ask an immediate family member or the funeral director for advice on what to wear.

The deceased may have specified a preference.

A good rule of thumb is to dress as if you are attending a serious business meeting - your goal is not to place the focus on you.

That means what you choose may be guided by your location, the climate, and the culture of the deceased. Consider the culture: Some cultures have special traditions when it comes to funeral attire. For example, some Asian cultures prefer white and in some African cultures, red and black are the norm. If the funeral is for someone with a distinct cultural background, it is perfectly acceptable to ask a family member.