SATURDAY Titanic Three, 7pm
Settle in for an evening of romance, suspense, and arguing over whether Rose could have shoved over and made room for Jack on that door. Titanic turns 21 this year and continues to be an enduring favourite. Singer Adele put on a Titanic-themed birthday party to celebrate turning 30 on May 5 and dressed as Kate Winslet’s character. Whatever floats your lifeboat, Adele.
Phil Spencer’s Stately Homes Prime, 7.30pm
Phil Spencer has ditched Kirstie Allsopp to tour Britain’s fanciest homes solo. His first destination is Burghley House, a grand 16th-century country house that wouldn’t look out of place in the Queen’s property portfolio.
SUNDAY The Queen’s Green Planet Prime, 7.30pm
The Queen takes a stroll through the grounds of Buckingham Palace with fellow sprightly nonagenarian (they’re both 92), Sir David Attenborough. Together, the pair discuss the Queen’s plans for the Commonwealth Canopy, a global network of protected forest. Other members of the royal family also feature as they travel around the world in support of the Queen’s cause.
Salvador Dali: The Dali And The Cooper Sky Arts, 8.30pm
From the brilliant Urban Myths series comes the true tale of Alice’s adventures in Dali-land. In 1973, famed surrealist Salvador Dali (David Suchet, above right, Poirot) met musician Alice Cooper (Noel Fielding, above left, The Great British Bake Off) and together they staged a photoshoot involving a brain, an eclair and some ants. This comedy recounts what happened but if you are keen to see the real thing, check out YouTube for actual footage of their bizarre collaboration.
Olivia Newton-John: Hopelessly Devoted To You Three, 8.30pm
In a perfect bit of casting, Aussie songstress Delta Goodrem stars as Olivia NewtonJohn. This biopic follows the highs (her star turn in Grease) and the lows (popularising the sweatband) of Olivia’s career. Kiwi actress Robyn Malcolm also stars as Olivia’s mum, Irene.
The Philpott Fire: Five Years On TVNZ 1, 9pm
This documentary takes a look at the aftermath of a disturbing crime in which six children lost their lives in the UK. Mick Philpott presented himself to the public as a devastated father, desperate to find the culprit behind the fire that killed his family. But it was soon revealed that Philpott had set the fire himself.
MONDAY Mind Over Money TVNZ 1, 8pm
Are you a spender or a lender? Nigel Latta concludes his probing of the brain’s financial lobe by exploring the various money personality types.
TUESDAY Back Comedy Central, 9.15pm
The stars of hilarious comedy Peep Show reunite for this new sitcom. Stephen (David Mitchell) prepares to take over the family pub following the death of his father. But the return of Andrew (Robert Webb), a former foster child who briefly
lived with the family, throws a spanner in the works.
SVU Three, 9.30pm
Chicago Justice joins the SVU-niverse this week when Peter Stone (Philip Winchester, right) joins the cast. In this episode, the team searches for a man in a clown mask. Coulrophobics (those who suffer from a completely reasonable fear of clowns) may wish to avert their eyes.
WEDNESDAY New Zealand Press Box Sky Sport 3, 8pm
Bernadine Oliver-Kerby hosts this lively, local show in which journalists debate the latest stories from the world of sport.
Love It Or List It TVNZ 1, 7.30pm
Homeowners are torn between two real-estate lovers in a new season of this competitive property series. Kirstie Allsopp encourages owners to stay put and just buy new throw cushions while Phil Spencer urges them to sell, sell, sell.
The Big Bang Theory TVNZ 2, 8.45pm
Move over, Meghan and Harry, it’s Amy and Sheldon’s turn to walk down the aisle. The season finale also features some special guest stars, including Luke Skywalker himself (Mark Hamill). Kathy Bates and Teller (of magician duo Penn and Teller fame, aka the silent one) also star as Amy’s parents.
THURSDAY Jono And Ben Three, 7.30pm
Back for a new season, Three’s resident pranksters have a new castmate on board – Prime Minister Jacinda Arden. Well, sort of. The PM, as played by comedian Laura Daniel, will be delivering weekly updates. No word yet on who will play the role of first baby.
Tourettes: Teenage Tics TVNZ 2, 8.30pm
This documentary follows 12-year-old Rory as he attends a camp for people with Tourettes syndrome, the neurological disorder that causes verbal and physical tics.
FRIDAY Pan TVNZ 2, 7pm
Wolverine star Hugh Jackman once again glues on the novelty facial hair to star as Blackbeard in this prequel to the story of
Jono and Ben