Feminism taking aim at bastion of male power

Let’s not forget New Zealand was the first to give women the vote in 1893. I bet we ‘‘made news headline’’ back then as well.

Let us be clear: This has nothing to do with the fact that (although clumsily announced, genuinely debatable, and just generally baffling in typical Labour style) this initiative is merely following trends already set throughout the world, by such luminaries as the UK Labour Party, and (ahem) the UK Conservative Party. No, this is about the unchecked rise of a force that threatens to destabilise the very fabric of Western civilisation – powerful white men.

It’s not too far to say that this is both feminism run amok and PC gone mad – a nightmare scenario predicted, with some accuracy, in the more interesting sections of the Bible. To quote respected broadcaster Kent Brockman: ‘‘It’s in Revelations, people!’’ Indeed, this is what men have rightfully feared for a very long time – the erosion of their hard-gained male privilege.

Feminism has threatened men since the first woman exploded out of a man’s ribcage roughly 5000 years ago, as detailed in the documentary film Alien. The only way to defeat the devilishly alluring force of femininity, was to use a bit of the ol’ biff.

The patriarchy assumed its rightful place in the order of things – on top, as the man should always be – and all was well. The world was at peace. Families stayed together. Women didn’t back-chat. Men could always settle problems with a rod no bigger around than their thumb and so on.

Then feminism came and ruined everything and society has been in slow decay ever since. Now women have some measure of control over their own bodies. Marital rape, once a right sacred to men, is now a crime. Women can divorce and live lives of their own. The list goes on. It’s so horrible that I could cry, but men don’t do that, so I won’t.

Not all is lost, however. Women still earn much less than men overall. More than 100 years of universal suffrage hasn’t changed that, thank Father God, and, blessedly, men are still supreme in Godzone’s Parliament.

Our largest party National, for instance, has 59 MPs. Of those, only 15 are female. The revolution hasn’t quite happened yet. Male privilege is intact.

But for how long? The spectre of equality looms, gentlemen.

Let’s not go down without a good manly fight.

Joshua Drummond is a Hamilton freelance writer, cartoonist and men’s rights activist. His website is cakeburger.com.