10 reasons to see a therapist
New Zealanders don’t think they need to talk about their problems. We’ve had it instilled in us that therapy is terribly ‘‘American’’ and self-indulgent, and we’re better off suffering in silence.
We aren’t. So let’s put a stop to that right now. Here’s 10 reasons why you should consider making an appointment with a counsellor or therapist.
You can’t explain your feelings
We all go through certain periods of stress, anxiety, anger, depression, or other negative states. When they are obviously situational, they are often easier to understand.
But if you have any of these feelings but can’t explain them, you’re probably not happy and a professional can help you find out why. And then start tackling it with you.
You have a trauma that you can’t get over
Trauma is something we brush of as ‘‘in the past’’ sometimes. Yet, it can affect your present and future if you ruminate over an event (or series of events) frequently.
If you’ve suffered any kind of trauma – they can be short and sudden, or long and drawn-out with a medium intensity – and you can’t stop thinking about it, a counsellor or therapist can help you process it properly.
This is vital if your trauma impacts your life badly in other ways, for example, it causes you depression or anxiety.
You’re arguing without resolution in your relationship
Every couple argues. When you fight again and again about the same issues and they never get resolved (eg, you just go to bed and they are forgotten about the next day), it’s time for some relationship counselling.
Early intervention is the best way to get problems within your relationship uncovered and managed effectively, so they don’t destroy the both of you.
You need a crutch
If you find yourself leaning on any kind of substance – alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, even food – a professional can help you redevelop a healthier relationship with that substance and deal with what’s causing you to need it.
You can’t talk to your loved ones
There are some things that we don’t feel comfortable talking about with those closest to us, especially when something involves them directly.
When you find yourself with something you can’t get off your chest for fear of the ramifications, talking to a professional who can provide you with a safe, nonjudgemental, confidential environment and will help you strategise the best way forward.
You catatrophise
If you think of things in life only in worst case scenarios, you’re a ‘‘catastrophiser’’. Catastrophising easily leads to perpetual anxiety because you spend all your energy preparing for bad things to happen.
There’s no easy fix to this, but there’s normally something underlying it (eg, the way you feel about your self-worth) that a therapist or counsellor can help you understand.
Your usual coping skills are failing you
Most of us have strategies in place to get us through hard times. When they stop working, you need somebody to give you new ideas. You need someone to help you change your tact.
Sometimes this can be done in just one or two sessions with a counsellor or therapist.
You take all the blame
Sometimes, no matter the situation, it’s easy to take the blame and find fault of your own.
Even if it’s imagined, we can believe it.
It’s like an internal form of Tall Poppy Syndrome: there’s always something to cut you back down to size.
When you find yourself continually blaming yourself for situations, both personal and peripheral, talking to a professional can help you restructure your perception.
You’re oversensitive
Sensitivity is a wonderful thing: Kiwis, by and large, should be more sensitive people.
But some of us are oversensitive or ‘‘thin skinned’’.
If any kind of criticism – no matter how constructive – hurts you, you could benefit from talking to a counsellor or therapist about how others’ approval affects you and how you can modify that.
You just need to talk
There’s really nothing more to it than that. If you just want somebody to confide in, sort through a mess in your head with, or just offload onto, counsellors and therapists are more than happy to sit there with you and hear it.
It is their job, after all. Lee Suckling has a masters degree specialising in personal health reporting. Do you have a health topic you’d like Lee to investigate? Send us an email to life.style@fairfaxmedia.co.nz with Dear Lee in the subject line.